Tis Sunday. I was a model parent today and took monster to see Polar Express with his friend and then let his friend come over to play for awhile. Monster was cool with that until the other kid asked to take his toys home a few times and then, he just wasn't havin' it. You see, being an only child and a five year old, he is literally the center of his own universe. At his age, he can't even conceptualize what it is like to see things from someone else's point of view. So, someone wanting his toy is just an odd concept to him. I think he says to himself, "But, why does this other person want to make me unhappy by taking my toy?" not "Oh, he wants to take my toy because it would make him happy."

To further prove this theory-- Gnu and Monster are sitting behind me playing Candyland on the floor while I type this and do my homework at the same time. Monster just asked, "Do you think we can change players? Because if I were the green guy, I'd be ahead of you.".

so yeah, i went to a gathering last night and left after about two and a half hours of watching people be silly. i was bored and my ass was cold and my knees were hot from sitting outside around a fire. my social skills are waning or maybe they just didn't say anything i wanted to respond to. i wasn't going to get drunk and had to go pick up monster by eleven so that's really all i could think about. this one guy- an obnoxious, maybe stable, fucker made me angry and i wanted to leave soon after. he probably wouldn't even know what he said to make me mad, he's that perceptive. he told me "go get some fire wood." i said no. he said "oh, come on- you're really good at scrounging things up- you found gnu (my boyfriend of two years whom i call gnu here. the one i love and am quite protective and defensive about. especially since he's a better man than he is and he better step off)". then the man of the hour starts up with "oooh, damn- you got her and even if you don't mean it, i mean it!" (which didn't mean much b/c he ate too many shrooms and probably didn't even know what planet he was on). then, they moved on to making fun of someone else's shirt and saying how he looked how he should be at a poetry slam with his stupid turtleneck. they are such sweet, sincere, make you feel good to be around them type guys. one of them being the same one who thought it was funny to make my then four year old son say "bangkok" so he would have to say cock. with friends like these, who needs a hole in the head? i can never think of anything to say when someone says something rude to me. instead, i just pissed off the next day and tell the world. i think that is more effective anyway. tell me, do i overeact? what would you have said?

oh hell yeah- this is funny. who keeps videos of themselves having sex on their phone? what an idiot. of course, fred durst will probably get another 3 minutes of fame for it and i wish he would just hurry up and fade to oblivian.

if gnu was to get a tattoo, i bet he would entertain the thought of getting one like these.

Spiky McSpikerson
Originally uploaded by Kimba No Limba.

Sorta Dooce Effected but I think I messed up the color halftone transparency somethin or other.
This is my niece, Spike. She's really cute in real life and in this picture, looks kind of like a turnip.

we went swimming at the the indoor pool, drove out to the country and saw horses, cows and the river and then we had ice cream. now, we are taking the dog for a walk. she is doing her caterpillar dance (where she lifts her four paws off the ground in a little dance-walk) in anticipation. monster is wearing a halloween t-shirt and is going to roller skate. fridays are family fun day. party tonight!

i'll shrink it again tomorrow so you can click on the other shit. i love bill watterson. calvin and hobbes is just the absolute best comic ever. it can actually make me cry and laugh out loud. how many comic strips can do that? certainly not fucking family circle.

I've realized what it is. I'm pissed off at all the pompous, smug, fat white men that have ever talked down to me at work. Those that have inferred they were better, got bonus kiss up points by playing golf with the executives, stuffed shirt assholes that give backwards compliments. The ones that got hired and promoted right to a director position for no real reason. The ones that have run right over me at one time or another during my career. I can picture at least one of them at each job but there is still the emotional connection with those particular guys- brad, john, doug- that made my temper spike. Those people that make me punch the steering wheel when I drive as an outward sign of the inner anger. The internal monologue of things I wished I had said and the arguments I should have fought. The arrogance is what gets me. I should just accept the bullish behavior is a way of them dealing with low self esteem issues stemming from some childhood trauma. Probably things like shitting his underwear at boyscout camp or something equally humiliating. So, if I know that logically, why do these men continue to anger me? I need to just let... it... go... Don't you think?

Scouty Scout Scout
Originally uploaded by Kimba No Limba.

My dog. Isn't she pretty? She was watching us play on the playground equipment and was very curious if she could climb up there because WE WERE UP THERE and she wanted to be there so so bad. She ran around in circles but never did climb up. Her ears stayed cutely perked though.

These google adsense things are pretty fuckin funny.

I just went to Christ's not updated page (ahem) and the Google ad was
"Dude, Where's my Car?".

Master Toad's is stuck on an ad about a serial killer and what appears to be gay ninjas.

Mine is stuck on public service announcements.

Is there a message here?

Pinky
Originally uploaded by Kimba No Limba.

My other amaryllis bloomed today. It is much shorter than the other one and I like the pink blooms more than the white ones of the other one. I was so excited when it bloomed- I was thinking a few more days but today was it. Few things make me happier than when my flowers bloom. In about a month, my yard should explode because I planted a fuckload of bulbs last fall. Oh spring- how I love thee.

"i wonder how anakin becomes darth vader"
"i think he got really drunk one night and ate some dell taco. the next morning he turned into darth vader"

I once brought Josh home a sticker that said "Fuck you you Fuckin' Fuck" which if you know Josh like I's knows Josh, was appropriate. He likes to say fuck. And "Yeah, Right" when he agrees with you. He says he's moving to Australia and I hope he does because that way I could come visit him one day after I become independently wealthy. Josh was one of my roomates and is one of my favorite people. Happy Birthday brotha-man.

Jenny said when she was just five years old
You know there's nothing happening at all
Every time she puts on the radio
There was nothing goin' down at all
Then one fine mornin' she puts on a New York station
She couldn't believe what she heard at all
She started dancin' to that fine fine music
You know her life was saved by Rock 'n' Roll
Despite all the amputations
You could just dance to a rock 'n' roll station
Jenny said when she was just five years old
My parents are gonna be the death of us all
Two TV sets and two Cadillac cars--
Ain't gonna help us at all
Then one fine mornin' she puts on a New York station
She don't believe what she heard at all
She started dancin' to that fine fine music
You know her life was saved by Rock 'n' Roll
Despite all the computations
You could just dance to a rock 'n ' roll station
And it was alright...

Bats Outside Barstow
Originally uploaded by Kimba No Limba.

So Hunter S. Thompson shot himself. So long Dr. Gonzo...

Drawing by Ralph Steadman

Hear No Evil
Originally uploaded by Kimba No Limba.

This was oh so funny at the time

I think it is time to break up with my job. i have had it. i've put in six months of my life dealing with these ungrateful cunts and i'm tired of wasting the energy (cunts reference in homage to deadwood because i wouldn't usually say that). i was so very angry earlier but now i don't care as much. basically, there is a guy at work who is a completely fucking ignorant asshole sometimes and way too mellow othertimes and he pissed me off for the umpteenth time today. i don't want to spend too much energy on this- i'll just sum it up with he was disrespectful towards me in front of customers and i called him on it. he told me to go home and i called his boss to explain what he did. then i left. and i don't want to deal with these assholes anymore. i will figure something else out. i wasn't getting paid much money anyway. i hate the feeling that the mean and bullish have won because i am too frustrated to fight about it but maybe that's just the wiser thing to do.

ohmygod this girl had two heads.

i would have gone out last night had i not fallen asleep at 9:00. i laid down with monster and we watched dora the explorer. there is no better sleep aid on this planet than that damn perky bilingual cartoon character and her talking monkey. not only did i fall asleep early, i kept sleeping until 11:00. granted, i was woken up every half hour by monster requesting a cartoon change. i don't know why i'm so tired but it happens. gnu says it is because i worry too much while i'm awake. so, i'm not going to worry about not going out last night even though i feel guilty.

oh, and the whole test taking mishap worked out okay. my teacher left me a message in a most charming english accent that i could take it next monday with a penalty. and she reiterated it was my fault. yes, it is my fault. i accept this point but the too blond fat bitch at the academic center still deserves a swift kick in the shins and her hair home bleaching kit revoked for life.

Apparently, I'm an idiot. I am taking an online class and this is a new experience for me since I've never taken one before. We had a test this week and our professor sent out an email "Go to the Academic Center and sign up for your test as this is exam week." So I did. The stupid too-blond fat girl at the Academic Center assured me I could sign up for any day this week so I chose Thursday after my 11 class. I am a commuter and live 45 minutes from campus so I can't just stroll on over anytime I want and I wanted to take after my class when I would already be on campus. So, I get here today all ready to take my test and I'm told I could only take it on Monday and they don't even HAVE the tests anymore. The bitch in charge said the fat blond must have misunderstood me and repeated ten million times it is my responsibility to read the syllabus and know when to take the tests. Yes, it is my responsibility and I'm dumb but the fat blond kept telling me I could - she should have said "Check your Syllabus". Now, I think I'm fucked and will get a zero on this test. I emailed and called my professor but no word yet. STUPID FAT BLOND ACADEMIC CENTER WORKER CHICK is ruining my academic career! Fuck!

Monster has become interested in death. He keeps asking if his grandpa will ever die because he is old. I don't know what to say to that. I tried to explain to him that we never know when people die but we hope they don't die for a long time. He wants to know where heaven is and who God is. He also wants to know if dinosaurs are in heaven and how dinosaur bones turned into rocks. I tried to look up information on dinosaurs for him and I found this picture of a Glyptodont which is the craziest looking dinosaur I've ever seen. Check it out. Now if only God had a Web site for the other answers....

You know, taking naps in the afternoon is not a good way to go to sleep earlier in the evening. Obvious, I know, but I can't help but fall asleep when my head is so heavy I feel like it is going to fall off.

I had to go to class all day and then tutor a fifth grader who doesn't know her multiplication tables. This is a cruel joke since I suck at math and had the same issue in grade school. I remember defiantly sitting on the kitchen table screaming and crying because I did not want to do the dreaded times tables flash cards. And now, I have to coax and convince an 11 year old that she needs to learn them because it only gets harder. By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was rest my eyes but that lasted too long and now I'm wide awake again. I only wake up at night. The daytime world is just so inconfuckingvenient.

Oh, Valentine's Day was a smashing success (except Gnu fell asleep at like 9 and I spent the evening playing spades with Apple, Toad and my brother. But, we had a great time playing romantic, Valentine's Day cards). My wonderful boyfriend upgraded the RAM on my computer and now it ACTUALLY WORKS. It isn't crashing all the time and getting hung up and my life is infinetly easier. He told me it wasn't a romantic present but I think it was because it required him to think about what was making my life harder and take the steps to make things easier on me. What could be more romantic? He also gave me a robe and today brought flowers because he felt guilty for falling asleep. He done good.

latte pour detail
Originally uploaded by tonx.

I loves ya!

i had a dream last night that aliens were invading by mind control. the only way you could kill them was by pushing the four diagonal four's on the phone. of course, there aren't really four fours on the phone.

this is a friend's baby's chubby little arms and legs. don't you just want to eat him up? could there be anything cuter than fat little babies?

I watched Joey for pretty much the first time tonight. I had watched for a few minutes in the past and then changed the channel because I didn't think it was funny and, while I loved Drea DeMateo as Adriana, she seems useless to this show. So, when I saw this article on spin-off's in The Onion, I thought "Hmmm, inter" (said like "in-tear" so an abbreviation of interasante. I didn't invent but can't stop saying it, even when I try). So anyway, if you feel like remembering back to Fish and The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, take a gander.

i just found this letter someone i know wrote to a lawyer and looking back, the whole incident was pretty fucking funny and the wording of this letter is even funnier. I won't say who this letter involved or why but I will say it wasn't moi. (no, seriously, it wasn't)

"I was stopped by the police for speeding. I waited while they ran my plates and was eventually asked to step out of the car. They informed me of an outstanding warrant I had in the city for drinking in public, and began to search me. From my left front pocket they pulled out a square tin box containing a glass pipe and a small plastic bag containing 2-3 grams of loose marijuana. I do not remember having two rolled joints in this bag, but it seems likely. The police then searched my car, and took me to the jail."

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get eight cats to pull a sled through snow"

RIP Gonzo. He died of cancer a few weeks ago. Thanks to the hospice de Becky for letting him live out his last days happily.

sounds like brit rap

listening to the dead hour. posting picshures

Even though now is the time we are all cajun, we will still drink irish stout.

I'm feeling better and more cheery. The anger has subsided and I'm beginning to feel human again. My buddy will be back in less than a week and that makes me happy. To explain, Monster went to Florida to visit the half of my snowbird family that is down there. He's been gone for a week now and will return in five days. I miss him so much when he is gone. I don't know how people that lose children forever go on- without him, I just feel empty. Here's a pic of him when he was 2 or 3, he has always been adorable. Look at that hair!

See ya there!

right now, i'd rather be dreaming than awake. i'm some combination of pissed off, sick and depressed. my assignments i submitted for my online class didn't get submitted because of SBCGLOBAL.NET CAN FUCKING SUCK IT and gnu finally admits his game is ruining my world and he can't play when i need to work. and i'm angry that it took him two years to admit it. i want to run away. i am just so damn tired of it all. we have no money. nothing to do. mardi gras and superbowl are this weekend and we can't fucking go. i have to work on sunday and will miss the party. mardi gras requires money. yeah right. i am now in hell.

random fact about me:
my vision is shit. i have an astigmatism in both eyes and if someone wanted to rape and kill me, all they would have to do is take away my glasses.

okay, it has gotten so bad that i'm now dreaming about the spring flowers blooming. you see, i loaded up my front yard with irises, daffodils, tulips and crazy bulbs for spring and i just can't fucking wait any more. i am so sick of winter that i want to puke. i spent all of today in bed and the only thing i've done all week is go to work and i'm going again tonight. i'm not contagious anymore, just sore and tired and trying to fight it off. gnu and i got in a screaming match this morning simply because we are broke and sick of winter. oh, and bandwidth. he persists in trying to say that final fucking fantasy isn't the reason our connection sucks. yeah right. it is a bandwidth hog and he just won't admit it. just like the time he tried to say john holmes was a famous porn star because men liked seeing fat, hairy, ugly guys get laid and not because he had a big cock. that was easy to prove wrong. will someone come to our house with some sort of bandwidth meter and prove him wrong on this one? we have seriously fought over it about 10 times. friends, if you are listening, i think i'll go out tonight simply because if i don't, i may kill something.

Well, day four of being sick. At least I've probably lost a few pounds since I can't fucking eat. I've watched tons of television and slept more than a newborn baby. However, I get up every few hours because my throat has been possessed by the deevil. The fru-its of the deevil. I'm going to work tonight anyway because I need the money. I'm beyond broke. We are beyond broke. It is actually getting scary. But, financial aid and tax returns are coming so we'll probably be able to pull out of this hole again. That's our lives, get into a hole, dig ourselves out. We don't even do anything extravagant, we aren't big spenders. It is just that I'm going to school right now and working part time and Gnu happened to get royally fucked on his job this week. Hopefully, he'll be back at work next week and on his way to joining the carpenter's union. I don't know though, his boss keeps saying one thing and doing another. God, I hope this all works out.
In the mean time, my Amaryllis bloomed which makes me smile.

Orlando, you didn't have to break up with her. It won't help you win my heart, Gnu already has it. I'm sorry, but you'll just have to move on.

We went to the Science Center last weekend. I like how it changes color at night now. We determined that it is still a little boring there but cool at the same time. Monster was so not impressed with the Pulse Omnimax with the folks from Stomp demonstrating rhythm in different cultures. But he really liked the optical illusion room which he promptly turned into a slide.