why do i keep getting spam addressed to chae kingery?
i understand kimbawe (that's where that came from btw. spam.)
but chae kingery?



tonight was gnu's birthday celebration. he made it all the way to 10:00!
maybe next year, he won't take the quadruple shot of grand mariner after
drinking guinness, captain and root beer and jamison.
oh yeah, and eat two cheesburgers, fries and god knows what else.
that's okay, we've all been there. that's what birthdays are for.
monster, one day you'll call us the day after your birthday and we'll know
you are hung over and we promise not to give you any shit. because we know.
oh, how we know. happy birthday baby- hope you don't feel horrible manana.

It took us three hours to put up the christmas tree. no shit. it isn't that it is some extremely nice, beautifully decorated christmas tree. no, right now it reminds me of charlie brown's christmas tree but i suppose that is in an exaggeration. it is a fake tree that isn't the color of any real tree i have ever seen. it is almost aqua. monster hung the ornaments so the majority of them are on the lower half and i was too done to move them. i broke the angels off the star that went on top because it was too heavy and made the pathetic piece sticking up off the top too heavy so it would fall limply over.
Click Here.

jimbo used to say that. i repeated in his honor to a few people last night and they looked at me like i was too angry.

A list of things starting with the letter M that I am thankful for:

• my family. mom, dad, karrie, katie, pat, audrey, steve. you are all cool as hell.
• missouri. the piney. ha ha tonka. femme osage valley. the huge fucking river. the kind people.
• monster. thank you for zerberting me. i love you so much.
• mike. thank you for everything. i love you so much. oh yeah, and thanks for being so hot.
• mis animals. thank you for being the best pets ever.
• mothers. mothers of mothers. grandmothers i forgot to call.
• mcdonalds because there are rare occasions when i crave a cheeseburger. mcdonalds cheeseburgers ended my vegetarian stint
• marty. here's to a better year
• mike n rachel. welcome back to the vortex. we missed you.
• manu. glad it is warmer there.
• mateo. let's have lunch.
• my friends with non m names. especially anna, dawn n dave, apple dapple and toad. and jimbo i'm sorry i couldn't call you this year and tell you how thanksgiving was. i miss you.
• millstream. the reason for my post-turkey day hangover.
• missouri. the piney. ha ha tonka. femme osage valley. the huge fucking river. the kind people.
• miss misery. because it is one of elliot smiths' best songs
• menudo. because it is the type of group that made the types of songs that april and i are likely to start arbitrarily singing together
• mayonnaise. because how i love to hate you.
• music. you are my saving grace. i don't understand people that aren't obsessed with music.
• morrison, tony. you are a genius and my favorite writer.
• macchiatos. they are good.
• mary jane. thank you, god, for creating such a great PMS reliever.
• matt groening. simpsons, life in hell, futurama. how i love thee.
• more. because i know there will be additional items to add to the list that i can't think of right now.

Well, it was an eventful night of going to the airport, waiting at the airport, waiting for baggage and such. But I got to pick up the rest of my family just in time for Thanksgiving and that rocks. There were hundreds of people waiting for arriving passengers at the security gate- college students' parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, buddies, etc. Everyone craining their necks around looking for their arriving party- all excited and happy. Some people cried when they saw the person coming, some held out flowers and these one girls even held up a sign and screamed. Reminded me of the scene in Dogma where Ben Affleck says he likes watching people there because they are at their most pure.

I feel like utter shit. I'm tired, my sinuses are congested and my chest hurts. I've been sick for over a week now. Gnu is sick too which means he's cranky. That's worse than me being sick. Monster was sick but now he's fine and FULL of energy. I think the animals are well.
I tried to get Sudafed today at Target and had to wait with two other cold suffererers for the 18 year old Electronics Manager to open the locked case of cold medicine so I could buy some medicine that may actually work. Last year, some meth heads killed a security guard by my house when he tried to stop them from stealing the entire supply of cold medicine containing psuedoephedrine to cook down for meth. Fuckin meth-heads. It is their fault it is easier for me to buy Everclear and Chewing Tobacco (ew- not that I would) than cold medicine.

you know, freaks of the industry by digital underground is still a good song. sigh, i just wrote a longish post about this pain in the ass guy at work and it vanished. maybe that is a sign that i should just tell him to kiss my fucking ass and chill before he strokes out. yep, i think that's what it means. so this blog has had various incarnations. i need to archive all the old, but incredible, stuff. thank you toad for making this infinitely easier. you rock! i'm going to buy you something with spikes on it for christmas.

When Monster was a baby, my brother and I changed the lyrics of
Ol' Dirty Bastard's song "Baby I Got Your Money" from "Hey Dirty, Baby I got your money don't you worry" to "Hey Baby, Baby I got your Bottle don't you worry." I still love that damn song. I love the line "I don't have no problem with you fuckin me but I have a little problem with you not fuckin' me" hee hee. I like driving around the sterile suburbs listening to that song- it makes me smile. I'm sorry he died and all but guess when you choose to do waay too many drugs, sometimes your heart just stops.

what do you know? it is now tomorrow and the dog returned covered in burrs and hungry. the kid stopped puking and is finally asleep. i just got to watch the CSI that I Tivo'ed and life is good. (By the way, CBS is run by idiots. How dare they cut off the LAST FIVE MINUTES of CSI New York to tell us Yassar Arafat died? Was that really that big of a deal? He had been in a coma for days and expected to die? Isn't he another leader who fostered worldwide terrorism? Why couldn't they wait five minutes? Bastards.)

This dog is wearing a cat coat.

I wanted to adopt another dog today. Monster and I go to the pound to look at animals and tell them they'll get
adopted one day (that makes me sound like a whack job. We pet the dogs and cats and say hi and try to make their days better but we don't actively talk to them). I was not intending to adopt any more animals until I saw Burton the Corgi. I've wanted a Welsh Corgie for a while because I'm in love with Ein from Cowboy Bebop. Yeah, I know, I've been told that adopting a dog based on a cartoon character is stupid. But, I've also read they are great with kids and if they
are good enough for the Queen, they're good enough for us. Besides, they have great little stumpy legs! Alas, twasnot meant to be. The lady at the shelter wouldn't even let me see him out of his cage (where he looked pathetic, lonely and tired of the noise and stench but wagged his tail anyway) because my city says I can only have three pets. Period. So, my two cats and one dog violate the damn ordinance and she "couldn't knowingly break a city ordinance". I told her my sister would take back "one of her cats" that I was just watching and she made me call right then and there and ask. Well, Mom answered and I couldn't tell her I didn't really want her to take my cat so I just asked her and told her I wanted to adopt another animal and she said I needed a shrink. So, the mean pet shelter lady with the really drab hair who looked like the before picture on a makeover story wouldn't even let me meet Burton! I told her that I had a large fenced in back yard and was a responsible pet owner and she just shrugged and said she couldn't violate ordinance. It seemed like she'd rather euthanize a dog than bend the rules to let a person meet him. And the lady down the street who WORKS for animal control has four or five dogs. And don't get me started on the guy down the street with the chain link fence in his front yard. That has got to violate an ordinance or two. Why the hell does he need a chain link fence in his front yard? It isn't even a whole fence that could keep something in or out. Why, dammit, why?

Ahhhh deep breath in, hold it for three, deep breath out. Okay, relax. You can't afford another furry mouth to feed anyway. And why are you torturing yourself by going to the pound? Now, go watch some mindless television and pet an existing animal...

I was driving home and thinking how many people have lists on their blogs of things they are doing, enjoying, etc. Dooce has a good one- I like the how to charm me, how to annoy me. Then again, everything she does rocks IN FRANCE!!!! Anyway, I was thinking about the one on the main page I wrote yesterday and how I don't want to copy off anyone so I should think of distinct verbs. For example, conveying, inventing, gnashing, rasterizing, belying, etc. Then I decided I was being silly and people usually put thinking, listening, etc because they are easy and I'm devoting too much time to this train of thought.

Today should be a good day and I should be in a good mood but I'm not. It is gorgeous out- 75 degrees and sunny (Gotta love St. Louis' fluctuating weather. Earlier in the week there was a frost advisory), I thought I had to work but didn't because I switched shifts with someone, Gnu made breakfast and I got to go shopping for a bit. That's the good news. Bad news is Monster wants to monopolize the computer if I'm on the computer and the TV if I want to watch TV. He wants whatever I am doing. He also loves to follow me around, grab me from behind (he's about as tall as my lower back) and then zerbert the small of my back and laugh like crazy. He does this about 30 times a day. He also likes to poke my hip fat- yeah, that's fun. I also thought I'd get a child support check today and didn't. I need that money and he needs to hurry and f'in send it. Also, I almost passed out at the fruit stand for no apparent reason- just felt woozy. I just don't physically feel 100% and may be a little hyper-sensitive. But whatever, I think we're going to a bonfire in Calhoun County tonight, which is a very beautiful area, and that should put me in a more pleasant mood. Till then, I may vacuum the ten pounds of animal fur off the carpet or maybe I'll just eat some chocolate and sit on the front porch. Word Up.

I'm tired of politics. I'm sure they like that, it makes it easier to slip things through without the American public paying much attention. I just hope that since Bush claims that God is guiding him that God will speak up and tell him to stop catering to industry and protect our natural world from ruin. And I hope thousands more young Americans aren't killed in Iraq in the next four years just to prove some asinine point about oil and money. Anyway, he's the president still and that's that.

Can I just say I am fucking apalled that 11 states passed "gay marriage bans". What are these people so afraid of? Do they think allowing gay marriage devalues their hetero unions? If so, they aren't very confident in their spouses and should get the fuck over it. I'm sickened by the lack of tolerance masked by Christianity that the Bush administration seems to be encouraging. Someone told me today Bush got re-elected because Americans like to murder and dominate non-white Christians. Seems to be true. Monster, I'm sorry I brought you into such a screwed up world. Maybe your generation can make it better and I promise I'll try for as long as I am able to encourage diversity and freedom for all people- even if they are gay islamic radicals...