WOW it's Wednesday already.Too many Birthdays, and 2 more tomorrow. Drunken posting just doesn't seem as much fun as passing out sometimes. But anyway, I've got 4 days worth, and a breaking news story, so quityerbitchin'.
BREAKING NEWS!
I've just been contacted by another ex-employee of the sign shop I worked at when all this web shite started. He pretty much re-itterated all the same shit I went through, but was smart enough (cuoldn't tough it out? Nope, it's the smart thing) to quit after only 1 tour through hell. One is really all you need, but I can brag about the second trip and puff out my chest a little. I feel bad. For him, that he had to deal with all the same shit I had to. Even posting some of the atrocities on the internet did nothing to remedy the situation. Not that I'm surprised. I worked there. I was
there, man. He has reached out to me via the email, and supposedly was shown my page by the old owner's son. I feel for you, buddy. Really I do. But I'm past all that shit now, and I ain't gonna relive one bit of it for anyone. Consider it a mistake, a learning experience, and move on. I did. And that's the last thing I'm ever going to write about that ridiculous terrible loathesome family
or business. May Satan wreak his most exacting revenge on the whole lot. A-fucking-men.
GOOD STUFF! The last month (September) was shit. The whole goddamned thing. Fuck it. Fuck September. October has been much better. Here are some things that make the Captain happy:
NEW TV! I bought a new TV after 7 years staring at the blurry 17 inch TV I bought from Tomsass. It still works, but the picture was so blurry I couldn't read the writing on the screen from my Xbox. When I plugged the cable into the 24 inch toshiba flat tube television it had lines running through it. Lines! Just like the little one! Crap! So I bought a 10$ cable from Wally world and the problem has been solved.
CLEAR CABLE CHANNELS! See above.
XBox 360. Yep, that's right. I own one now. Hence the need for a better, bigger TV. I wanna feeel the explosions, and LIVE THEM!!! Next I think I might get a better sound system, but I dunno. That's enough spending for one quarter.
But Captain, how can you afford such things? You are moving out, right? Nope. Here's the deal, as I see it. I have shitty credit. No, worse than that. So whatever place we moved into Tomsass was going to have to get it all in his name anyway. Good for me, I guess (that's what everyone said) but that left Tom open to me just bailing on him and him having to pay everything. Not that I would have, we all know that, but if he's gotta do it all himself anyway why bother with paying rent, when a house payment would be less anyway. Then, If I would freak out and run back home (no thanks) at least he could easily afford it, and not be wasting money. Not to mention owning a house opens one up to equity, and equity = whatever set of golf clubs one could want. Or a boat, motorcycle, etc. So that's that for now. Man I love my TV.
You said you'd tell us a story! Okay, here's one:
I wake up. sleeping on the covers of a crappy motel, the Super 7. I had been there once before, and swore never to go back. I was wrong. More importantly, I was gonna be veeeeeery sick. Stumbling into the bathroom and tripping over the toilet lid that was dislocated and on the floor, I found my target just in time. Vicious, hot bile gushed from my guts. The impact was so powerful it splashed back into my face and onto my white undershirt. Chug after chug of beer, rum, and some denser particles were returned to the outside world. A few minutes later (days, it seemed) I was sitting on the cold tile floor of a somewhat unfamiliar bathroom panting. I took stock, of my surroundings. Mold on the walls. Human crud on the floor, and I was probably sitting on some as well. A shower with the curtain drawn. Not gonna look in there. Puke on the toilet and wall. As I staggered to my feet, my torso weighing sixty pounds more than I was used to, I noticed a water fountain instead of a faucet on the sink. I was dehydrated, but fuck that.
I turned the light off, and opened the door. The first thing I noticed was that the AC was on full blast, and it was about forty degrees in the room. Next was the windows. Blinds drawn, with no light pouring through. Good, more time for sleep. I stumbled over a bottle, and then noticed they were everywhere. There was an empty plastic cup sitting on the table, and no chairs. There were also quarters all over the floor. I tripped over a body lying on the floor.
"Aw geez, Captain." I thought to myself. "What did you get into this time?" Another half empty bottle, this on had rum in it. I noticed a box, sitting on top of the minifridge. Actually, it was only half a box. On the inside were the words "Cornelius Hunter" and "1030 AM" [sic] scribbled in blood. The room had the aura of an after party for some wild rock band. But death was in the air. And that air was very cold. I searched the room for my shirt and shoes, but failed to find them. I did find a razorblade, more empty beer bottles, and a very heavy backpack I didn't recognize.
"Ah, hell. I'm too tired for any of this to be real anyway. I'm probably dreaming this crazy shit" I laid back down on the bed next to a huge, warm mass and closed my eyes. "I had better be dreaming this." I thought as Sleep hit me light a freight train a raveling 100 miles an hour. "I'd better be. Crazy friggin pirates."
Happy Birthday Christ! I should have called you or something, but I'm not good at that stuff. I meant to though, really.
I guess that's it for now, I've got a little more to say, but it'll have to wait. TV's getting lonely in there all by itself.
AMF
