ON Thursday night me and my first mate, King Kilgor went on a mad savage pirate journey. It went something like this:
I met up with Kilgor on Thursday evening, at about 6pm. We were going to go play mud golf or get something to eat. I was in a funk, as things with my new girl were not going they way I would have liked. As soon as I got to the Old Milstream we both started drinking heavily. Kilgor was a few ahead of me, but is was no struggle to catch up. We saw some friends, Metal J and Christ, as well as a few other folks. 16 beers and 3 hours later, we got into an arguement about where to go eat. I wanted to stay in town, but all the Best places to eat are somewhere else.
"So where are we going to go, Captain?" Kilgor asked me with a wry grin. We both knew the deal. I could either bag out and eat at some par restruant and then go home and wait for the girl to call, or we could loose the ropes and set sail for port Saint Louis.
"We're sticking to the plan. First the Carribean, then the world!" I exclaimed. Several bar patrons looked on judgingly, but we both knew they were just jealous they were not going to be sailing with us that night. We put on our pirate hats, bid our friends adieu, and set sail. Our first stop was
De Palm Tree A Jamaican restraunt off of Olive @ highway 170. I recognized the lot immediately, as that was where I had gone many years ago to get money orders to pay off either a lawyer or the mob, I cannot remember specifically which. It may even have been both.
The food was amazing, and the Red Stripe was cold as hell. There was plenty of it as well. Lots of Appleton Estates rum, too. We both ordered Jerk chicken, and an appetizer platter. Their service is slow, as every item is cooked to order and made from scratch. We made small talk with the owner's wife while her son wandered around like he owned the place. She was a nice woman, probably in her thirties or early forties. She had white hair, which was dreaded and in a pony tail. We spoke of the islands, the cuisine, and of another Jamaican place that would probably not make it through the summer. Her boy, who looked remarkably like Riley or Huey Freeman from The Boondocks seemed to know all of the patrons by name save us, and was very friendly as well. We had shots for desert, and when we finally got around to paying the bill, I dropped 120$ or so, after tip. We recieved 2 more shots as a gift.
This is when the night started to get wild. We left my car at that place, which meant I would have to stay at Kilgor's house and be at his mercy as to when I would get to work in the morn. This is a repeat of my first day at work as The Boss. I was not afraid. Nor was I took drunk to realize what a bad idea it was all becoming.
That is a true trademark of Pirates. When the going gets bad, there's no reason to try and stop it. If it's bad, let it be bad. Imagine the worst case scenario, and as long as that doesn't happen everything will be cool. My worst case scenario was this: My car gets stolen, I don't get to work until 10 am(Store opens) and I spend all of my money, or get mugged. As long as none of that happened, all would be well in a day or two. I already knew the girl was gonna be pissed, so that was a given. ( I did try to call her several times from Kilgor's phone, but she doesn't answer unknow numbers. Her loss, she could have camme aboard!) The rest was just damage moderation and control. That's about the time I found out about Kilgor's clock. That's what really messed me up, I'd say.
So we headed for the Venice Cafe', it was about 11 pm or so. I'm not going to describe the Venice, I don't have 4 pages to properly dedicate to it. I will simply reccommend you visit the place ASAP. Kilgor went to get drinks, and I found a table. It wasn't difficult, there was only a handful of people there. It was unusual, however we soon found out why. A very large, not wholly unattractive girl came over, and started trying to make small talk. She was nervous, and my perception was a little skewed, so I still am not sure exactly what she wanted. I hoped she was an emissary for the only attractive girl in the place, but alas I was wrong. She wanted us to sign up for the mailing list of the live music for the night. I am glad I cannot remember who he was. Kilgor politely declined for both of us (this is what first mates are for) stating that "Since we had not heard any of the music yet, he wasn't sure he wanted to be on the mailing list."
That part seemed self explanatory. The part that didn't make sense was the crappy solo artist dude who had his own groupies. I'm pretty sure that they were the only ones in the joint, and they were all dudes. We drank about half our beers and split. I didn't want to pass by the amazon chick again, so we scaled the wrought iron fence out back. no easy task as it was there to prevent people from entering (leaving?) and we are both fat. We had a little help from a concrete column, but it was difficult. That is how much that guy sucked. Fat pirates climbing a fence instead of raping and pilaging.
Setting sail for Miss BB's, a blues bar on the south side, I noticed Kilgor's clock again. There is a blown fuse in Kilgor's car that makes his clock reset to 1am every time he turns it on. I did not have any other means of keeping time besides my watch, and after we left the Venice at about midnight it was only getting wrong-er.
1am. fine, plenty of time for a little blues and some more Red Stripe. It was the anniversary of Bob Marley's death, after all. We walked up to Miss BB's, and it was a dead scene. There was a band playing, and they sounded alright, but absolutely no hot girls, and noone else to speak of really. But the place across the street was kicking. Doors open, hot broads stumbling out all over the place. We gratefully paid the 5$ cover and found a nice spot right at the front of the bar by the band. Kilgor was smitten by the fat assed, huge breasted bartenderess, but the real show was at center stage. Two hot, drunk college girls complete with butt topper slut tattoos were grinding the hell out of each other to the beat of the music. It seemed to me, that the idea was to jam each others thighs into each others crotches and then sway to the throaty screams of the large black female vocalist.
"They have great rythm..." Kilgor commented to me at one point. I barely heard him. The band wailed, the girls danced, and the Red Stripe flowed. I don't know when it really was, the clock said 1 am when we left to go to Kilgor's pad. He was hungry, and spent the next 10 minutes trying to convince me to go to The Jade Room with him. By the time we got to his house, and turned off the car, he had me convinced. As he restarted the car I quipped "Oh, good. It's only 1am. we have lots of time." It was actually 2:30 am, and I was scheduled to be at work at 8. it's a forty minute sail from Kilgor's to my house. We got to The Jade Room and tripped down the dim stairs in the lobby. There was no more food. We still drained a Budweiser and then headed for White Castle. White Castle, if you don't know, is NEVER a good idea. Not at noon and especially not at 3am after a long night of drinking beer. I was smart, though, for once that night, and ordered chicken sandwiches. I believe that is the only reason I am alive today.
The rest is pretty typical and equally blurry. I crashed on Kilgor's couch, and was greeted in the morn by an angry cat's ass in my face. I can be hard to wake up and we hate each other, me and that cat. I got home by 8:30, and then took a forty minute nap. I didn't show up to work until 9:30, and was looking at a possible 14 hour shift if the closer didn't show up. He had had his mom call in sick for him the day before. Got there at 9:30 that day as well, so opening up late is not that big of a deal. The only problem is getting the bread baked. That takes about 2 hours. Luckily that we don't usually get busy till noon or so. The girl WAS pissed, for all the wrong reasons, and I totally made it up to her and had her being all lovey dovey by the end. Haven't heard from her since, tho. Fuggit. If she won't fight to keep me, I'm not going to have my pirate crew do anything for her. Like a mighty poop, I'm just going to let it go. I don't need any more drama than I already have. After all, I am the Captain of a Pirate ship.
*704d.com*
AMF
