Post!

I know, updates are sparratic.

Title Here

Another suckass day at the sub shop. Another opener with a nocall no
show. It's no wonder now why my predecessor opened 6 days a week.

POSITIVE STUFF

I went and played paintball on Sunday. It was a blast. Unfortunately
my 8 year old marker (gun) didn't cut the mustard. Time for an
upgrade!

I've made a new masthead for the JTHM page, it will debut with the next
comic sometime this year. Heh.

Also, Kimblahg is about to run out of bandwith (gratz) and she's
supposed to send me some new baby pics for a new masthead as well.

I'm tired, my legs hurts again (paintball) but the ship continues to
sail!
Captain Toad, on the go!

A Pearl

"Seek to master everything. Only then can you truly learn something."

suicide FONT

Greetings, good sir,

I just wanted to let you know I have downloaded and used you Suicide font. It's good. It is very thick lined and distinct. Must have taken a while to produce someting so nice, huh? Downloaded from 1001 free fonts and I got your email from the "Easy way out" F.A.Q. Funny. It will reside by a forever overwritten "Readme.txt" file in my font folder. Thanks again,

Toad@704d.com

Blank Page 4-21-06

Blank Page 4-21-06
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

It says "[THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]" but it isn't anymore, is it?

Messagecup 4-20-06

Messagecup 4-20-06
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

hole in 1 4-20-06 #2

hole in 1 4-20-06 #2
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

I got a hole in one on 420! It was hole #15 at "The Church Course" Saint Peters, Missouri. that makes 4.

Hole in 1 4-20-06

Hole in 1 4-20-06
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

WHat did you do on 420? Can't remember? I GOT A HOLE IN ONE!

Nikon Coolpix 5.1

SO a while ago I made this post. Littile did I know that it was surely the end of my camera. The camera I had when I started the website is missing! I've been missing it for about 3 weeks now, give or take. If you know where it is, lemme know, there will be a reward in it for you! (I need the memory card out of it.) I plan on giving it to some lucky web-reader anyway, but first I need that friggin' card.

SO I had a bad day today. At 3 am I woke up to get a drink of water. My legs were extremely stiff, so much so it almost hurt. After 3 steps to the bathroom my right leg seized in spasms. Burning lightning pain from the small of my back to the sole of my right foot. I cried out and fell to the ground, confused. "WTF?" I thought. I even used the letters because at the time I was not able to form words or thoughts. It was bad. like a steel rod had been driven from the floor into my hip. I limp dragged myself into the bathroom where I gasped and cried out to my reflection in a silent pleading stare. I had no glass for water, and the thought of returning to my room for one and then making another trip was out of the question. A veritable impossibility. It hurt that bad. I dumped some q-tips and cotton balls out of this thing I have, and ate a vitamin with 2 servings of water. the trip back to my bed was worse than the one to the bathroom. I should have stayed there. Sleep was not in my future.

Fast-forward to 7 am when my alarm awoke me out of my half sleep. Good, my leg is a little sore, but I'll be fine. Uh-uh. I had the same reaction to trying to walk. I could not. I called my boss, explained the problem to him, and then called my mother who was downstairs. The first time I have ever been truly thankful for posessing a cellphone, as she did not hear my cries of pain or calls for her name. A few minutes later sh eentered my room with a bottle of Excedrin and a flask of water. I felt like an animal. I was unable to move. Unable to affect my situation at all. I was helpless, and I did not like it.

SO fast forward through all the pain I hopefully will forget, and onto Myspace. I go there about once a week or so to check my friends, read 1 or 2 of Candy's 4500 messages, and that's about it. But it was like 1pm and I didn't have anything else to do, so I started looking up alumni from my high school. My last post insued.

SO I worked on JTHM, and then felt like being creative. I wanted to add a new pic to my MYspace profile, but I couldn't find my camera. I was able to hobble around at this point, but my leg felt as if I had ran a marathon. I never have, but I assume...

So the moment I felt I could accurately and consistantly push the accelerator pedal of my car I headed off to Best Buy for a new camers. I had already picked out what I wanted off their website and I'm pretty sure that that is the key to success for shopping at that monsterous place. Know what you want before someone can try to sell you something different.

Now don't get me wrong. I can handle rejection. It's usually their loss anyway. But she was the one that got away so to speak. I never had a problem getting any girl I wanted, except her. BUt I'm over that now. I'll go to her page one time after I write this, but that will be it. She will not be able to find me, with my massive web anonimity. I'm safe to forget again...

It's a new time for pictures, kids.

AMF

Note To Self

DO NOT go on Myspace and look up all the alumni that you went to school with because you might find that one girl that you loved soo much it hurt and then you might find a picture of her kissing her present boyfriend that isn't you and then you will remember all the pain and sadness You caused yourself by trying soo hard. Your heart will sink to the pit of your stomach and you will be angry. Then it will hurt. And it will hurt worse than your leg, even though it seized up like an engine with no oil and you could not go to work today. You will want to go to work. The leg won't feel so bad. You will also want to go back in time and bitch-slap yourself for being so silly and causing yourself soo much pain later on in your life. Then you will want her again...Still even, and it will hurt more because you know YOU. CANNOT. GO. BACK. Even if she saw how far you had come, even if she finally really saw you for who you were, it wouldn't matter. Nevermind all the other B.S. from seeing past girlfriends getting married and having kids and careers, because you know that isn't for you, but she was. And you would have done anything-indeed, you tried, even by being a bastard and ruining some other bastard's chance for happiness it didn't matter. DO NOT GO TO MYSPACE. Don't get hurt again, for God's sake man. Don't waste your time with it, because even now as you plot and scheme and type, at best she still won't care, and at worst you will still be hurt AND look like some internet stalker.

You silly ass. You're going back there, aren't you?

"Pain let's you know you are alive, at the very least." -About 1 million suckers said that.

AMF

Is It Worth It? Pt.2

Alright. Here I sit, again. Trying to decide if this Job is worth all of the time and effort I put into it. My eyes open, my mind clear as it will be.

The answer is no.

I out far too much effort into this, and I do not get paid well enough for it. Indeed, with all the time of mine that I waste, no amount of money is worth it. Not if you don't even have time to spend it. It will get better, however, and I am still learning important lessons.

I spent a lot of time trying to make everything equal. (This is kind of not related to my job, but it's about me so the affect is omni-something.) I had the firm beleif that we are all people deep down inside, so everything should be fair and even, and I should go out of my way to help others no matter who or what they were. This ideaoloy is very nice. It is friendly and comfortable and still allows me to be a good person which I am. It is also very immature and foolish. I am not like other people. I am unique.

From here on out, I am going to behave in such a fashion. If I don't want to be bound by a family or a career or any mundane shit like that then fine. Why would I want to be bound into my parents house doing a mundane job that I'm not even sure I want to do? Yes, it is comfortable and yes, it is what I'm acostomed to. But you know what I say?!! You know you do.

I am reminded of this picture, and all that it stands for. Maybe it's time that I start acting like a fool and try to continue the Gonzo style with my life?

I'm not quitting, yet anyway. But there is going to be a lot more evaluating going on over here.

AMF

One Last Thing

There os always one last thing...

AMAZING JTHM FLASH!

almost in time for me finishing my comic... But not really

Is It Worth It?

NOW that, my friends, is a dangerous question. Unfortunately, it's one that has been asked of me by friends, and myself as well. So what we've got here, besides one hell of a conondrum, is a real-time analysis analasys analisys (Pick one) of that very question. But before I can go into any of it, I first must decide what I truly want to do, and what IS worth it.

You know I'm talking about my job, right?

I guess the first thing I need to discover, as I look back, is to really define my future. As I very nearly turn 27, I find myself over that hump of "I won't live past 25." Now wether this was my own opinion, or one induced by my best bud Gnu who most deffinately shared the same idea until about a year and a half ago is irrelevant. I had been living my life like the end was nigh, and indeed was incorrect. So what does my future hold, or what do I want it to? A family? Nope. Definately not yet, anyway. While I've no problem finding a mate, I have absolutely no desire to attach myself to one. Career? Indeed, that strikes very close to the subject at hand, does it not? If I decide that I want some heavy career in something, and it's not too late in the game to start, then shouldn't I drop everything and head out? Worth would be irrelevant, because I would be in the wrong place. I think I'm going to go ahead and say not to a career as well. Sounds so permanent. What if I fuck it up later on, and don't have anything to fall back on but delivering pizzas? That would deffinately make me a Loser. Note the capital.

Okay. No family, no set career. What else is there, besides another beer? There will always be more beer, and another dragon to slay. So the next logical conclusion would be art, I suppose. As a self-proclaimed artist, I'd say that's really number one in my life. Or at least I firmly6 believe it should be. Paintball is a fun hobby, Video games make for great entertainment. I love to read as well, but what good does that do me? So art it is. That must be my thing. That's the big deal. Okay. Progress.

What next? Okay, so we have this art thing going for us. We are gonna be artists, now. Fine. What do we need to be artists? Tools, of course. Tools cost money. Paper, ink, paint, or in my case a lot of the time, a computer. A big fat brain computer that can run a lot of programs and do a lot of stuff, fast. I'll need a printer as well, a large format one. Yep, if you thought computers were expensive, try buying a large format high quality printer. 20,000$. can I put that on layaway?

I need better funding. But isn't that why you bust your ass for 65 hours a week, to afford the Cadillac of computers, with dual everything? You arent' anywhere close to 20K, and you are already considering quitting. Not so much considering, but more like rolling the idea around in the mind, like a booger. Hoping it will dry out and blow away. Because if you flick it, you would get more involved than would be sane.

So forget that shit for a minute. Back to this art thing. Am I trying to achieve something? Is there a goal? am I building up to a sistine chapel, or a waterfront pier? If so, I am already on the wrong track. I cannot paint. I have a rudementary understanding and ability, but it is more like housepainting than fine art. A painting is a unique item. There is one Mona Lisa. There is one "The Scream." In a world of mass media, can something so easily duplicated even be considered art?

Woa. Shit. We are way off the subject now, bubba. things are starting to get weird, and off the point. Re-align, change subject please.

I make 350 take home a week for anywhere from 46-65 hours a week. That's 7.50-5.38 an hour. Plus I get monthly bonuses, the highest one so far has been 100$. 1500 a month. That's an okay figure for say, 30-40 hours a week. I made 323$ a week when I quit the sign shop. I know THAT wasn't worth it, because It was always all gone. It took 300$ a week just to keep me going. I'm saving money now, by virtue of the fact that I don't have time to spend it, but that doesn't make it better.
I was averaging 400 a week at Talayna's driving, before 60$ in gas, and other car care expenses. Equaled out to 300 a week fo rexactly 50 hours. Plus, they were the same 50 hours, 11-9 every day for 5 days. It sucked, but it sucked for all of us, and All I had to do was drive, dishes, and cut the cheese. My hours flip-flop so much now I don't know what's going on. Plus, I only get about 2 days off a month. Do you know what it is like working a 14 day week? I'm not talking about your other job as well, but 14 days of the same bullshit, twice a day?

So it's not worth it, huh? I haven't said that yet. Here's some good stuff: I am THE BOSS. What I say goes, even if I am wrong. Things go my way or it is bad for everyone. When there is an edge to my voiuce, people are quiet, and they listen. I have my own office, and it is a waste of space since my compuer broke. My boss won't buy me a new one. But it is my space, and I may retreat there whenever I want (even if I never do.) Free food, and man the food is good (getting a bit tired of it though.) I can always drive to pick up extra dough, but gas is expensive! My boss is a nice guy and I want to help him make $. No matter how much I work, that 350 paycheck is always there.

Alright. there it is. Chew on that for a while, lemme kjnow what you think. I am too tired to type anymore, and sick of re-spelling every other word. I'll make my decision later.

AMF

It's Time

Time for a Combat Cocktail!
Captain Toad, on the go!

Not Work

Last night it stormed kind of bad for like 15 minutes. So my 2 idiot
employees, who didn't feel safe (store is in a mini-mall enclosed by at
least 3 bldgs on either side) locked the store and walked down to
Schnucks where it was safer. They walked OUTSIDE to Schnucks where the
bldg has twice as high ceilinds, no structural suppor to speak of, and
20 foot glass windows out front.

When I asked what the hell they were thinking, they replied (this is the
really funny part) "I'm not going to put myself in danger for this
place..."

Friggin stoners.

Hah. Because it's MUCH safer to walk outside in a lightning storm than
to just stay where you are.

Oh yeah, tough guy? Where were you during this storm?

Driving down the highway at 90 mph trying to make it to golf on time...
Ask Gnu, he was with me.
Captain Toad, on the go!