I'm The Second Toughest Man I've Ever Known.

But at least he didn't name me Sue.

My old man just got home, and I said "I've worked 22 hours in the past 2 days. at this rate, I'll be off by Thursday afternoon!"

I paused, anxious as he finished his drink of juice.

"I've got 24."

"Huh?" I asked, as bewildered as old Gee Dubya.

"12 today, and twelve yesterday. I've got to work twelve tomorrow too."

A long pause.

"Well," I said, "you're getting paid, right?"

"Oh yea, I'm getting paid."



At least he didn't name me Sue.

Motherfucker is almost 65 years old.

A funeral director, my old man is. He was an EMT (I might show you the pic, someday) and an anti-tank missle something or other for a big defense company. Dude used to ride the bus from Farmington to Berkley (where my sign shop was) To work at McDonalds. 1.5 hours each way.

Beat that.

Amazing Photo Post! (Kansas City and Etc.)

Kansas City!

Corporate Pirate trip

[Truck Driver Envy]

Action Shot!

I almost got it!

So like, I guess Mario jumps out of the sewer, and then you have to run-jump into the magic warp for level 6?

This one is titled "I Should Be Going That Way..." or "Why I Didn't Crop Out My Mirror."

While going the wrong way on route 7 I hit up a 9 hole golf course. It wasn't bad, but I hardly got a workout on my bike. It was a lot of long downhill shots and several short cross uphills. Kinda liek a course for Lazy people. I was sick as a dog, and getting worse. It almost killed me. It took a group of rabbid dogs on four wheelers cheering me on for me to even finish. Ain't my bike sexy?

Copyright 2005 704d.com

This is what love looks like from the outside >;-)

This is a long awaited golf pic. It's from a few weeks [months] ago, hole 3 @ White Birch. Man, I need a few days off!

Monster's hands are full, so Apple is lending a few.

[the last spades night ever?]

Later that night... Do you remember the purple hair post on Kimblahg.com? I have SO much proof of some kind of child cruelty, that hopefully his therapist will just cut to the chase, and blame it all on this.

[Save 20K]

My Old Man's bike. I'm totally working on it. Next year she will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.

[I'll be the bandit and Road 82 can be Cletus (or Fred)]

Nitters, Kids.

Here It Is

I cannot post the photos because the internet aint workin on the PC but
ill say this.

It's windy, and rainy, and I wish the walls weren't so thick so I could
hear it better. I heard the rain of gunfire in a dream I had...

I was in a tank, and it sounded like rain on the trailer when I was a
loader for UPS.

I heard all the new xbox's didn't work, it was some sort of scam to just
sell a billion of'em before they had the cash to make 'em work

Captain Toad, on the go!

New Crew Member!

Dammit. I'm the only male Pirate left in the known universe. Anyway, we have a new member to our merry pirate band of rejects. Fearless Sunflower, or Life Perspectives (Page title) I bid you good welcome.

AMF

[you know she'll get pregnant now]

Happy Thanksgiving!

I can feel it in me...

Christ, the kind soul that she is, just brought me thanksgiving dinner.
It was good, what little I ate. I even had a gang of stuffing, which I
don't usually eat at all. As she was leaving, she informed me that it
was stove-top, with sauteed bacon and onions, and mushrooms. Oh, good. I'm critically
allergic to mushrooms.

So I just got done intentionally puking up my only thanksgiving dinner
for this year. I can feel my glands swelling already, but I hurled
'till I could taste bile and Dorrito's, so I hope I'll be okay. I cannot
afford to miss work and fuck up this order.

I will not fail.
Captain Toad, on the go!

Thanksgiving

Here I am, 1 hour deep in my Thanksgiving this year. So far lunch has
consisted of out-dated potato salad, a Mountain Dew, and a bag of Nacho
Cheese Dorito's. 11 0f 21 trays of cookies baked, and no bread so
far...
Captain Toad, on the go!

Invasion of the logo snatchers

SO You have all seen the official 704d.com logo. The ovel one with the ring around it. It's on the t-shirts, and some other stuff, as well as being a part of the member badge. ---->
It's a pretty basic, common logo that I thought I made up myself at the sign shop. Then I got to noticing. It looks a lot like the Ford (tm) logo. And it also looks like every generic logo in every movie I've ever seen. Especially Tommy Boy. [Callahan Auto Parts] SO I found a good pic on YTMND.com, and did a 5 minute photoshop on it.

Here's what I came up with.

I know, I know, it's not very good. But it's kind of funny, and I already did it, so you can't take it back, and neither can I.

I'm not going to change the logo anytime soon, even if I do think about it. but I am going to create a 704d.com Jolly rodger, or rather a Jolly B.O.B. for various different things.

AMF

[it's gonna rock]

Bah!

HOW dare any one of you discredit the Captain? Ya'll haven't posted a damn thing in at least 3 days, not including Kimblahg.com (cuzz I was trying to fix it. The key word was trying there, kids. I only changed it a little, hopefully for the better.)

I tried to post this the day it came out, but couldn't. Head over to Road82.com and look for the carrot vs. carrot video. It's pretty kick-ass. Hurry, I don't know if the demand will get too high and explode his bandwidth. it's under the movies section.

That part there, that was for the future people that come to visit the site in the future. It's not there now, not even a little. It's actually over at his truckdriver blog vlog and it's almost at the top. If it isn't, but you saw it over at road82, then YOU ARE THE PEOPLE FROM THE FUTURE!

AMF

[how cool is that? and i totally called it.]

Credit for Candy

['Cuzz they're juicy]

AMF

Dear Kimba No Limba

THIS Might be the best chili ever
Captain Toad, in your house!

Weird and Amazing Emails

From: Mastertoad@704d.com [mailto:Webmaster@704d.com]
Sent: Friday, November 18, 2005 7:06 PM
To: Mrs. Kennedy
Subject: Not hate or spam but from tha Toad! (No viruses either)

I saw this, 11:45 central time. Are You Okay?





From: Mastertoad@704d.com [mailto:Webmaster@704d.com]
Sent: Friday, November 18, 2005 9:46 PM
To: Captain Toad
Subject: Not hate or spam but from tha Toad! (No viruses either)

You know, it’s for fussy.com (not fussy.org, which I have for the next ten years or so). I tried to buy fussy.com a few years ago and they wanted, like, $1,000 for it and it just wasn’t worth it to me, especially after I got .org for $100.

OH, right. I am a drunken retard. I actually coded that into the start page when I was having trouble loading the free after rebate button last night. My bad. You don't see that much.

NEXT!

Dear Shopkeeper,

Thank you for using CafePress.com! As you may know, CafePress.com provides a service to a rich and vibrant community of international users. From time to time, we review the content in our shopkeepers accounts to confirm that the content being used in connection with the sale of products are in compliance with our policies, including our Content Usage Policy (CUP). We recently learned that your CafePress.com account contains material which may not be in compliance with our policies. Specifically, designing, manufacturing, marketing and/or selling products that may infringe the rights of a third party, including, copyrights (e.g., an image of a television cartoon character), trademarks (e.g., the logo of a company), "rights in gross" (e.g., the exclusive right of the U.S. Olympic Committee to use the "Olympic Rings"), and rights of privacy and publicity (e.g., a photo of a celebrity) are prohibited. Accordingly, we have set the content that we believe to be questionable to "pending status" which disables said content from being displayed in your shop or purchased by the public. You may review the content set to pending status by logging into your CafePress.com account and clicking on the "Media Basket" link. The content set to pending status will be highlighted red. Please visit our Content Usage Policy (CUP) for additional information regarding your use of the CafePress.com service. Once there, you may access our Copyright, Trademark & Intellectual Property Guidelines and FAQ's for more detailed information regarding Intellectual Property Rights. We apologize for any inconvenience that the removal of your content may have caused you. Please let us know if we can be of further assistance. Sincerely, Content Usage Associate CafePress.com CUP@cafepress.com

I didn't space it out. There were no pictures. I have started a new cafe press store with a few bucks from my new job, and made a huge copy of the huntertribute pic and put it on about every product they had available. There's some other stuff too, but I'm not going to link to it until it's all coded cool and there is some shit worth buying. I will say this though:

War has no borders. Neither does the picture, I think.

[You can still get the Hunter tribute T-shirt at the 704d.com store, but I don't know how much longer. I just bought 2.]

[not]

I don't want to start off my new shop with some anti-Bush thing, so we'll call it a general Anarchy thing hopefully, and that will be that.

NEXT!

This next one is so bizarre that it actually get's a little back story. When I was, dang, like 14 or so I went to this church camp called Super Summer. you can Google it I'm sure. I had a roommate named Percy, (My step-grandfather's name, on my mother's side.) We did stuff normal guys did, and hung out and stuff. Eventually we got to talking about girls one night, and he asked who I liked. I told him I didn't know, and eventually he... wait. I don't know if I should tell this story. I don't have Brandy's permission, and ... fuggit. So I told him I liked Brandy. GOD DAMN that is a NAME. Not just something to call someone, or something that sounds nice. Brandy is a name that in and of itself creates respect. A name you say with a real sort of feeling, a sort of pinache. The name of your first girlfriend.

I guess I was going into the seventh grade. However old that is. But we held hands a lot, and she was very nice.

2, I believe, was the number of letters exchanged between us that first year. I still got 'em. I cannot believe I am going down this road, here. Hopefully I can dull their senses with all the poor writing and they'll never really remember it. Or me, for that matter. They are sealed in a comic book cover and backing. Along with the 2 pictures, and another couple letters, I think. Haven't gone there in a while, and I'm not tonight. Not if I'm writing about it. Then one day I got a call. It was Brandy.

"Are you going to Super Summer this year?"

"Yea," I replied dumbfounded. What are the chances?"

"Week 3? I'm going week 2." I heard her say.

"Actually, I was supposed to go week 3 but I got changed to week 2."

There were other exchanges of "I miss You" and stuff, but we were friggin' young. You can't take that seriously.

Long=Short

It was a great Super Summer. Brandy and I had a great time being all christian and stuff. I had 3 roommates this year, and we stayed in a home designed for unwed college mothers. (Big room bathroom tiny room. My Super Eight room was just as big. But I digress. She met me at my door at like 8:35 am every day.

When I turned 16, the first thing I wanted to do was to drive up and see brandy. We hadn't written in several months, but I was 16, so I was all stupid and shit. Gnu and I made a road trip to see her. It was four miles away, the same as the K.C. trip I made last month. I was driving a 1986 Mustang POS with a six cylindar (sp?) engine, and my parents were freaked. This, my loyal readers, was THE TIME BEFORE CELL PHONES!!! The time when a Pirate could be a pirate, and there were payphones. And HOOKERS! ON EVERY CORNER! Gnu and I drove up there, stopping at the same subway both times, and he stole a pack of cigarettes, which he still feels bad about. Go ahead, ask him. So wet met, and she cried, and I felt all bad. The worst part is, Gnu brought um... something special, and I was too tore up to have any fun.

She just emailed me again, and now we are IMing on Yahoo.This is in real time right now. How's that for weird. So after we saw each other, that was pretty much it. Until yesterday.

She found an old freemail excite address, (that's why excite is on the start page, I check it bi-monthly) Because of a post I left on the soulfly website (the button is coming) about a fan that was killed. I mean it brother, I hope you made it to the place. She found my old email, and because my boss was trying to email me the schedule program from my work computer (THAT IS DONE) I checked it and BAM! I'm IMing my first girlfriend ever.

Foolishly, I told her the address to my page, indeed the whole site, but I'll tell as much as I can about the next few bizarre days/weeks. This should prove to be interesting, at least.

So yea, I can't log into my excite account, but she got me there, and now at 704d.com, and later, or now, IM @ yahoo. THe emails themselves are pretty boring, but you can guess, were were just 26 and so stupid...

AMF

From Brandy:

After some digging, I found my blog. Go to http://fearlesssunflower.blogspot.com

I actually updated once I found it. Actually did something productive, is that allowed on Saturdays?

Gar! (Pirate Calendar)

She beat me to it. I need to haul ass. Her's is probably better anyway. But would you rather have a calendar of a stranger's dog, now, or a calendar of an entire strange website, when the time comes.? I know what I'd do.

Poor little Girl...

THE CARDINAL RULES OF [A Clutch] CONCERT ETIQUETTE

1. If your mother has to drop you off, pick you up, come with you, or if you even have to phone your mother during the show, you should not be allowed to have a ticket to said show. Nope. You do WHATEVER you have to to ge to the show.

2. If you are not of a reasonable weight, do not insist on jumping up and down or moshing. Even if the band commands you to. No one wants to see that. Revision: If you are too massive to get airborne, toss a little kid into the pit.

3. Do not show up wearing a [Clutch] shirt of the band you are seeing. Or of any other band, for that matter. It just makes you look desperate and blend in with the crowd. Not true. Members of the Clutch brotherhood of Pure Rock Fury should sport their shit as much as possible. Make yourself know by sporting the old-school oval logo instead of one of the others. We were Elephant Riders since day #1.

4. Do not purchase a shirt before/during the concert and then proceed to wear it before/during the show. Unless you are dying of hypothermia. Once again, not the case. Buy everything you can, and burn whatever non-clutch clothes you have. All of 'em. Sport them colors, Bitches. But you always look cooler when you wear old tour shit. Duh.

5. Do not make phone calls during the show and pretend that you are actually able to hear the person on the other end. We all know that you’re just trying to look cool. Well, Most people are stupid. Make phone calls to me from other tour dates, and let me listen to the show. I'm down. But don't yell at me like I can hear or I would care what you say. I just want the music.

6. If you must make out with your significant other during the show, at least have the common decency to do so in a dark corner. Yea, right. If you try that shit during a Clutch show, you'll get a whole mess of busted lips.

7. Don’t whine about how you were injured in the mosh/circle pit. If you’re in the pit, you’re really just asking for it. Take it like a man and bear your battle scars proudly ...If you enter the pit, and get hurt, find a way to hurt someone else worse. It doesn't matter who. a girl, a little kid, whoever. Hopefully it will be the guy who hit you, but if not, smash the police, your parents, or mebbe a corporate idiot. Or, idealy, an entire corporation. I was dissapointed in the pit last show, and I hope the STL bitches can do a little better next time.

WILD BEER IS BEST

WILD BEER IS BEST
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

The last time I was at this gas station, Metal J and I were there to get energy drinks and beer for a chili cook. He got the beer, and I grabbed a couple of SoBe's. After waiting in line a few customers, Metal J was immediately and very rudely refused. "What?" He questioned me, and I was in shock as well. He threw his hands up into the air, and walked out.
"Okay," I said confused as I took out my wallet and I.D. "I'll but the beer then." She refused me as well, without looking at my liscense. I tossed the energy drinks across the counter, shrugged, and walked off.

YOU WORK AT A CASH REGISTER BECAUSE THAT IS ALL YOU CAN DO.

Tonight, I went to the grocer located 3 stores down from my shop. I go there ALL THE TIME now, trying to be friendly and stuff. The register girl in the EXPRESS LANE made me take out 4 forms of I.D. and then fucking checked the signatures. The anger that stems from this matter reminds me to work on JTHM tonight.

Hmmm...

SO things in my world are changing. A lot. I was actually pretty
worried about all this. I knew it would happen, but it's all so
sudden. 63 is the number of hours I have worked this week. 1 or less
is the amount of hours I have worked or even wrote for the website. I
made a promise for a photo post, and didn't do it. I have a feeling I'm
going to be falling off the map for a while. I don't want to, in fact
I'd be just as happy to be working 20 hours a week like I was. But I
made a committment, and I have a job to do. The job comes first. So I
just wanted to mention, and the fact that I will still be here, it's
just all too much fun. I just might not be writing very much. And I
want to finish JTHM.
Captain Toad, STILL AROUND...

704d.com store

Holy Crap! I sold another Hunter S Thompson tribute T-Shirt! Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen, 2.00 total cafepress earnings. that means 704d.com is about -98.00 total profit for the year. w00t.

Kati's Messageboard!

The following is a response left by yours truly on the ol' messageboard:

It's the secret to immortality.

Duh.

I'm immortal as I fly,
Free as a bird, into the sky
To jump and swim, screw and cry
One with everything, invincible, after I die.

I'm not bright? I have my own crew of dedicated pirates, created by myself. I recieved 3 different but similar emails with translations from an American, an Australian, and a Mexican. All fluent in english. None of them could figure out what the hell you typed!

Don't insult the Captain.

Wait, you said MOSt intelligent. No, I'm not. Neither is old Dubya, but I'm willing to go toe to toe with him at trivial pursuit, as long as his "advisors" weren't there...
Yes, it's a Pirate log. I'm the Captain of the good ship 704d.com.

Damn. George W. Bush IS an idiot. We all know that. So why did I get so mad? I read a Bernstein Bears book with Monster tonight that said it's one thing to be a chicken, but it's a whole other thing to be a sheep. Our leader is a fool, and we seem to be following him...

I haven't been posting much. Too tired. And with everything going on, I'm only getting about 3 hours of downtime a day. I eat sleep and live my job now. (Not actually eating much) I AM THE JOB! Anyway, besides talking about work..let's see. JTHM won't be out for a while... I dropped my sidekick tonight. For the first time. My boss was not totally impressed by my answering my phone with damn! I only scratched the front and a corner, all fascia. Thankfully not the screen. Spades night was fun last night, but the actual Halloween event sucked. It rained all evening, and I slept. I need some nice-ish pants. mebbe some dockers or something.

Special shout out to all my friends. I'm clad you got moved in and settled, even if it wasn't much fun. I have a housewarming gift in mind, but I have know idea when it will be completed.