Obligatory Halloween Post

This has nothing to do with Halloween, but I am still here. My first day was hell. Everything didn't go wrong, but it could have. Photo post coming up! I have to answer the phone, it's my silly closer...

The Bounty

Ever seen this movie? You should. You can learn a lot about the inner workings of a large seafaring vessel, and see some hot topless Tahitian chicks, too.

Mole Man

Mole Man. The maker of this costume was either a genius or an idiot. A genius, because he knew you'd need a visual refrence in pictures not-yet-taken, of who the hell was THIS?! Or an idiot, because he did not know who Moleman was was by looking at him, whith his creepy 1979 blue mole face. Moleman was the least menacing of the X-Men. He could dig through dirt. He could see when it was pretty dark. His skin was blue. Or was he a Megaman II character?

Email

From: Secret Agent 009 To:TheMaritimeKing@704d.com

Subject:Gyarg!

The Pirates of Somalia and the Pirates of Malaysia
These be your mates Captian Toad?

Officially, I have no knowledge of these peoples or their subssomethingquent actions.

But aye, they are.

[GolfMF]

'Scuse me...

'Scuse me man, but can you find it in your heart to help a homeless
men?

Sorry man, I have nothing.

Not even some chnge?

Sorry.

That's a coolass hat. What is that a tooth?

No, it's a horn. A rhino horn.
Captain Toad, on the go!

It's Here...

It's Coming...

You're Nny! You're psychotic and kind of evil, but
somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck
finding it.

YOU MUST PREPARE

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Home (There's No Place Like It.)

I don't know why but I feel compelled to report to the intangible internet and a handful of people I know whom read this, I'm home. And I'm okay. The drive was uneventful, except for the fucker from Illinois who wouldn't stop cock-blocking all of us. If my car was faster it wouldn't have been a problem, however it takes a while to get from 65 to 80 or so. Plus, I hate passing on the right in the rain. So I passed him, cut him off, and then (just to be funny) exited the highway. I went to the Outlet mall in Warrenton, and bought my first new pair of shoes in like 2 years. I know, I know. And come to think of it the pair I just threw away, I think the moms paid for them anyway. I haven't bought shoes in years. I still have another, now my golf shoes. THey are a pair of New Balance shoes Kilgor gave me...Like a year ago. I'm not sure how long, really. They have a lot of paint splatters on them.

I am currently just have missed the Suicide Girl's Burlesque Show. That sucks. If I hadn't gone to Kansas...

I'm also buttoning up JTHM3, and soon I'm going to release the unfinished Anniversary video. fuggit, I'm no filmmaker.

I saw some cool stuff, and did some cool stuff. It'll be in my book if I ever write one, but I can't publish everything for free >;-)

Friggin' message board...

AMF

Kansas Is Done!

I passed the test,
I ran the race and won.
AMF, De Soto,
Kansas is DONE.
Captain Toad, on the go!

I heart Technology

SO here I sit. Wally's cafe'. De Soto, Kansas. I am approkamately 250
miles away from my crew, a band of bloodthirsty pirates. And yet, I am
still in touch with my crew. Did you hear about Gnu mooning the 2
guysat golf to keep them from fighting? I did.

This place is nasty. I ordered fried food to limit the contamination.
Everyone is staring at the horn and my rock-star clothing. I showed up
on my bike. Everyone here is old accept for the obnoxious family that
decided that the booth next to mine isthe one. Man are they loud.

The fries look like fried asparagus with yellow die no. 4 added. I miss
saint chuck, and my friends.
Captain Toad, on the go!

The Real Deal

I'm getting to be like my sister.

The right url is www.flickr.com/photos/mastertoad
Captain Toad, on the go!

While I'm Away...

I will be constantly taking sidekick pics and sending them to my flickr
page. www.flickr.com/mastertoad so you can still feel like I care
about you. Oh, and did anyone else see that post in german on the
messageboard? Wtf? Anyone that speaks german, feel free to translate
it for me and email it.

Captain Toad, on the go!

Anxiety

SO I leave Tomorrow. Today, if you live and sleep during the normal opperating hours of a "Normal " person. I'm a bit worried about a few things:

400 miles to KS. 25 miles per gallon, 16 gallons. 3$ per gallon, x 16 =48$ in gas, one-way.
96$ in gas total, not including driving from the hotel to the training center.
I have...62$ plus about 3$ in change.

I don't actually know where the training center is.

I don't know what the dress code is, which is fine because I don't have very many clothes anyway.

If I can't afford the gas for the trip, how am I going to eat?

My ins. is due on Monday, and I still only have 62$.

If I can't afford food, how am I going to drink?

I'm only 11 chapters deep in a 17 chapter training manual. That's the first one of 2.

My boss just got out of the hospital this morning, and I haven't heard from him since.

Corporate Schmorporate. This is turning into a fiasco.

I get paid on monday, but guess who's going to be 400 miles away from their paycheck?

I better start packing. And I'm going to need my bike too, I think.

Kansas City, Here I Come!

Well, De Soto, actually. But it's right next to Kansas. It's like saying "East Saint Louis." Well, no, because that's a different state. It's like saying I live in Saint Louis, but technically it's Saint Charles. Yup. That's how I'll spin it.

HOLY CRAP that's a lot of disc golf. But what will I do at night?

So, I leave here around 10 AM on Sunday (I don't have to be there 'till Monday mornin, but I got the paid hotel from Sunday til Wednesday -YESS I NEEDDD TTOOOWWWLLLSSSSSSS, AND A LOT OF TRASHBAGS) I'll leave around 10 am (or earlier if I can't sleep.) Hell, I could leave Saturday at midnight if I wanted, get there early enough to eat breakfast and then play disc golf for 12 hours! But I'm no friggin' athlete. I plan on doing 2 on sunday, and hopefully 1 every other day. Who knows, though. Mebbe I fall in love with one course, mebbe I lose all my discs, could sprain my ankle. THat's the "Plan" though. As far as that goes.

Why am I going to De soto, KS? Most of you know, but I'm getting Corporate Certified to run a Mr. Store. 4 days with paid training, a gas allowance, and paid room. It's too bad I'm not still young enough to enjoy a hotel room. R and C stayed at a hospice the last time they went to Chicago, and that sounds like more fun. Meet other people, see real places. The only difference between hotel roms at this level (Deckhand) is the wall color and which side of the room the bed is on. I asked the boss about a jacuzzi or a minibar and he jokingly said "...I got you a hooker for a night instead. Any night, but only one. You can pick when you sign in." I'm pretty sure he was joking.

Extra Batteries
Fred may I borrow your Memory card?
Kimba may I borrow your memory card and your laptop? (It's okay to say no this time, I swear I won't get mad.)
What's the dress code?
Do I have to pay for food?
It's too bad I don't know where Amanda Lives anymore...
But what will I do at night?

Printing Google hybrid map. The ultimat pirate treasure map.

I'll be re-activating the Sidekick II on sunday with my limited funds. For emergencies and up to date, crappy lo-res pictures on my flickr page. So If I can't find a way to communicate on the site, I'll find another way...

I'm about done for now, most of the excitement has bled out into a more realistic, paranoid, responsible set of feelings:
Will my car make the trip?
Both ways?
Will I be stuck eating Ramen all week long?

Fuggit, Let's Rock!

AMF

Main Page!

If you haven't seen it yet, you should head over to the Main Page. No more links, but it has a real cool look.

I took a diagram of a Manowar ship from like the 1400's, and did a little editeing with Adobe Photoshop CS. It's not perfect, but for some reason I saved it complete before asking for any input from the crew, so it is what it is. I hope you like it, and if not, TS.

AMF

Sick Day

Sick Day
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

This sucks. I feel well enough to be up and around, I even finally added the second video card to my computer. The Monitor I found in the dumpster behind work is not only nicer than the one I already have, but the discoloration is gone too! So now I'm ready and rearing to go, but my mind is locked up. cannot create. I've been working on the final frame of JTHM3 for over 2 hours now. I just cannot do it. The brain is soo fuzzy. Also, My computer is going to need more RAM. The second video card is taking a huge toll on the overall speed. Still, they say you can add up to 10 monitors...

As A Dog, and I Think It's Only Gonna Get Worse

I just got off the phone with work. One cool guy is going to cover my shift tonite, causing him to work open-close. We're cool like that, though.

99.7 is what the thermometer says. 99.7. Not bad, but I hold the record at the local clinic by my old house for highest temperature ever recorded. 102.3. Every muscle hurts, especially my left calf because I pulled it on Gnu and Kimba's couch after spades night. I'm totally dehydrated. My head has one solid spike that goes through both temples. It's like being stoned and totally hungover at the same time. (I can only assume, anyway.)

Power Controller

What you are looking at is an old 1980's (or so) computer power controller. Replaced by today's modern surge protectors, battery backups, and The Energy Star sleep mode, I found this one behind the sandwich shop in a dumpster. It was an ugly olive drab color. You can still see a little around the buttons. It was fugly, and I could see why someone would toss it. But it still worked, and I wanted to use it, because it's really cool. Look at all the buttons!

I took it home and checked all the wiring. No shorts, it was solid work. So I painted it gold instead of the ugly color of a Macintosh SE. The gold looked pretty bad too. So I masked off some racing stripes, and coated it again with this stuff. I love that stuff. Now, it looks badass. The Master light switch is burnt out, and some of the other lights flicker, but it has a real sleek futuristic look to it. I use it to power the various black lights and accent lights I have in my room.

One man's trash...

Blockbuster is Fired! Part 2

So I wrote this story and sent it to a bunch of places. I posted it here, on Ihateblockbuster.com. amd I sent it to like a bunch of other places.

Someone responded! I never asked for a response, I got it from their employees before I wrote the story. However, LollyAKruis@aol.com seemed to need to take matters into her own hands, and sent me this:

From:LollyAKruis@aol.com To:CaptainToad@thegoodship704d.com

Subject: Defect

I am responding to your game defect complaint. I am a Store Manager for BBV. I agree with most of your email. But not all of the stores we have are like this. I know I train my people to check any item coming back as said defective. If we clean it and there are no physical defects, we mark it and put it back out. If it comes back again of coarse we transfer this out of our stores. What I don't understand is why you are calling names & assuming the employee's were "counter nerds" or "druggies". Obviously the guy that helped you at the register was a csr, maybe he wasn't looking right at you because he wasn't comfortable with the situation? Now to give you the same exact game again is stupid. They weren't doing their job. You can't honestly expect each and every item to be available. Yes the box shouldn't have been on the floor but mistakes happen. You ever made a mistake? You should have received a refund after your second trip to the store. I not once in 6 years have ever been told we aren't to give refunds. To claim that we give false charges is retarded! We have better things to do with our time. Just a quick bit of advise. All Store Manager's and the District Leaders name & phone numbers are posted in all store. Once your complaint hits the DL, you will get what you ask for and the employee's who couldn't help you correctly will be dealt with. You seem to be a reasonable person, so I can't help but think your comment about BBV encouraging taking advantage of their customers, was just out of anger. I am proud of my store and proud to work for BBV. It's too bad you walked into someone else's store. Happy Renting [sic]

I wasn't sure where she read the story at, but I was curious. I replied to her email:

To:LollyAKruis@aol.com From:YoursTruly@PirateCentral.com

Re:Defect

I'm very sorry, but I'm not exactly sure what email you are referring to. I would like to get the story straight before I can reply adequately. Did I email you personally, or are you referring to my article on I hate Blockbuster, or the one I wrote for my website? I'd just like to know before I make an official statement. I can tell by your email that you do not belong to the complaint dept, and I am a bit confused...

I guess she replied with a forward about some girl in CA. that's missing. I don't live in CA. So, here's the official response that I will not send because I don't want anymore junk mail sent to me from strangers. I get enough as it is.

Thanks for responding! I appreciate all the input I can get from corporate clones and strangers alike! Although I gained nothing from your email other than a few amusing minutes of reading, I have a few questions, or items to address. As it is that you spoke only for your store and Blockbuster Video and not about my local BLockbuster Video store or situation, You probably will understand.

"If it comes back again [a defective product] of coarse we transfer this out of our stores." [sic]

Yes. I know this. I also know which "BBV" you transfer it to. >;-)

"What I don't understand is why you are calling names & assuming the employee's were "counter nerds" or "druggies". Obviously the guy that helped you at the register was a csr, maybe he wasn't looking right at you because he wasn't comfortable with the situation?"

...Okay, well, maybe if you had read the story through twice you would have noticed that I referred to a female employee as a "Counter Nerd." And also, the gentleman who would not make eye contact with me was not the counter- sorry, CSR, he was the manager on duty. I mentioned that "I believe he was stoned" as a personal narrative. I did not say he, or anyone else employed by Blockbuster video was or is a "druggie." Trust me, no one was comfortable with that situation. However it's the job of the manager to attampt to diffuse any situation. Just one more area the staff was lacking.

"Now to give you the same exact game again is stupid. They weren't doing their job. You can't honestly expect each and every item to be available."

Is that an official statement?
No, out of the ten years and 1000 items I have rented, never once has an item not been in. This is the first time "BBV" has not had what I wanted. Yeah, right.

"You ever made a mistake?"

Aye.

"You should have received a refund after your second trip to the store."

Uh-huh.

"To claim that we give false charges is retarded!"

That is insulting and innacurate. I never once claimed that "BBV" gives flase charges. Just no refunds.

"We have better things to do with our time."

You aren't the only one.

Just a quick bit of advise. All Store Manager's and the District Leaders name & phone numbers are posted in all store.

Was that bit of advice gramatical, or what? It sure ain't helpful now.

"Once your complaint hits the DL, you will get what you ask for and the employee's who couldn't help you correctly will be dealt with."

Did you not get the point of the story? I already lost 10+ $ and several hours of my time over a 6$ rental. I wasn't about to waste anymore playing phone tag with an office jockey. (Oops, there I go again. Making scathingly vague insults about jobs I know nothing about! Call the cops.) I wanted my money back, sans gas fees, right then and there. I was done.

"It's too bad you walked into someone else's store."

True. It's also too bad that corporations are so inconsistant. Running one store one way, and others another. It makes no sense!

"Happy Renting"

Cute. Actually, I've stopped renting alltogether, and have never been happier.

So there you have it. let it be a lesson to you. When you address the Captain, do it properly, not sloppily. And also, it's not all that hard to turn a short email into a really L O N G post.

AMF

Still Missing Hunter

I'm currently listening to some HST interviews that I downloaded off of Limewire. I'd link if, but it's a free plug. Limewire doesn't have any room to complain. Man, even in late 2002, he's in top form.

Just got back from making some scans at Kimba's house. Thank you, girl, for the continued and un-bothered use of your workstation. (As if she doesn't have the pimpest laptop ever.) JTHM 3 will be up soon. Man, how wasted was I when I decieded that "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" was going to be my next project? If you saw the first ones, the rest are really fucked up. I don't have to tell you, though, you'll see...

Got 5 birdies on the first 5 holes at golf, and finished at 1 over. That means that I got at least 6 bogies. I didn't. I got a birdie on #16, and 7 bogies. No double bogies, tho.

[AS FAR A YOU KNOW]

Below is a self portrait I drew when I was chewing gum for $ Oh yea, and futurama is coming on soon. I don't remember doing it, but I found it in my car in an old notepad today. See the Horn? The flower on the shirt is from a F.U.C.T. cloathing line I made in high school.
Foreign Underground Confederacy of Tomorrow. It's a SOAD song...

(...I was standing on the wall, feeling ten feet tall...)

AMF

Heywood!

Heywood Banks is coming to the Comedy Forum Friday and Saturday. I highly recommend that you go. I went last year, and Gnu and I had a blast!

I've invited Christ to go with me because this is her birthday weekend, but this morning I found out I'm broke. HA HA! I hope I have enough change...

OFF TO GOLF!

please email blogger.

Do it for the children.
Do it for the truck drivers
http://td.road82.com/comment.html

Free Busty Porn

THERE is no real title for this one, so I might as well get some free search engine hits. I added a few pics to the rotating (you did notice, right?) picture up in the corner up there. If you somehow did not notice, then hit refresh and look for something different. Also, Golf was cool, there was (were?) no spades night, and London Bridge is Burning Down.

[Not Falling]

AMF