Standard Pacific

I just nuked a plate of pizza rolls, am preparing to pour my first rum, and am about to throw down on some serious design work. I got up at a seriously early 5 pm today. Ate breakfast, and then my sister and her family came over. I goofed around with the kids, took a few shots of my youngest niece (check flickere in a day or so if you care) and showed them my amazing flashlight of angst and recognition. It's just a regular flashlight, but the eldest is like five. After that I watched some TV and contemplated the new web page I'm working on. I instructed Kimba to create the new masthead for July, but hey. Design just isn't her thing. So that's one more thing.
After 3 hours of working on the new page I got disgusted, deleted all the graphics, and went to Kimba's. Now, I'm home.

I've been trying to find ways to make revenue on the site. I've applied at a bunch of advertising places, but the replies are all the same. "Your content is either unacceptable," or, " you reader base is not large enough." That's funny, I was assuming 60 new readers a day was a lot. Guess not. I am however still impressed.
I know I need a degree from college to get a better graphic design job, but is there a college for websites? I'm sure someone sells it. We have the store going for us, but noone buys anything. Except me. I buy stuff from my own store. So I'm open for options in the comments area, or you can always email me. Somehow wee need to make some revenue [$] over here.

Who is the newest "Official" member of 704d.com? I'll give you a hint. They are very popular over in the message board.

AMF

Morris ate too much...

Morris ate too much...
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

I totally ate more sauce than Morris, but you have to have the correct technique in order to avoid smearing it all over your lips and inside of yer mouth. He was not a happy camper. This moment is also right before he started drooling in himself...

Interview

I have an interview with a Sign Shop in about an hour! About friggin time. I also have 2 other Graphics-related leads!

Eight Under Par

I threw Eight under par yesterday at golf. A new personal best for my game. I beat Kene at -7 because he choked on his hole 18 birdie shot, a twelve footer. I also beat Kilgor at a dissappointing -6. He tried, but just wasn't on his game. We were sitting on hole 16 (the Battle Box hole) when a couple of guys came up to us and asked if we were having another pizza delivered! One day we will be infamously known at the golf course. For now, we enjoy our anonimity.

Some of you may have noticed that Johan's Metal J is missing a little bit of, well, all of it. Here's the scoop, I hope Johan do't get to pissed at me for tellin' it. Metal J and Christ recently ended their relationship. They were together for a while, they aren't any more. This upset us all a little. Christ decided she doesn't want to be a part of the website anymore, and that's that. Unfortunately, Metal J wrote a post on his page that although noone will ever be sure what was contained within the lines of his mind, has since been deleted. It is my opinion that he was not sure how to kill the post and make it stay dead, so he simply deleted them all, hoping they could later be recovered. ...They can't. He's pissed, and sorry, good writing lost forever. Well, "good" in the sense that everything produced by this site is good. We are in the process of rebuilding his page, We're going to change the graphics and layout. Should be ready about August or so. Just to wanted to let all of you who care know.

I still don't have a job, and near as I figure it I'm about 1200 or so in the hole right now. Sheesh.

Golf today at 4:30, White Birch.

AMF

Tom Cruise is a Nut!

He is, I was talking to Johan about him tonight. We both agree. I t may be the first rule of 704D that all must confess Tom is a Nut! ...Mebbe...

Gum Taste Test

I went to my first Gum tasting yesterday. I'll be leaving again in a few minutes. In a word, BORING. It's a good thing it pays a lot. IO showed up and filled out a consent form, basically saying I will eat spicy shit and if it kills me the company cannot be held responsible. (They obviously have no idea about my hot wing issues.) I sat down and was told to read or whatever until everyone showed up. Armed with the Rolling Stone Triplc gave me, I sat and waited. Later, the 10 other tasters in the room and myself were instructed to eat a cracker and drink some water.
The cracker was stale, and she did not elude to wether or not we would be furnished with another 4 oz. bottle of water, so that was a bit awkward. Not as much for me, as I am used to doing whatever the hell I want in a group of strangers. However, everyone else in the room looked to be just a bunch of sheep. I guess that's what they wanted for the expirament, but it was sad. After the cracker and the water, we bagan to chew. the process was thus:
Chew gum for 1 minute, fill out 12 questions, multiple choice.
Chew gum for 5 minutes, fill out identical questions.
Chew gum for 10 minutes, remove gum, fill out 12 more of the same questions.
Eat a Hershey's fun size chocolate, (So that is the size of fun. Good thing, the little room could not have handled any more fun.)
Wait 25 minutes to start the process over, a total of three times per session.

The only part anyone seemed to have a problem with was the actual following of directions. There they were, black and white, ink on paper. It seemed as if moving at one's own pace tword the completion of the mini-survey was not enough. The sheep needed a shepherd, {always} and I am that guy. A wolf in sheeps clothing, leading the entire tasty heard. If not for the fact that the lady that worked there actually stayed in the room it could have been great fun. A willowy, wispy, post-menopausal (sp?) basket case completely inept or unable to return eye contact. It was as if she knew, that I could bite her head off at any minute. And yet, her very presence like a badge or gun, maintained order. Sanity from a seemingly insane situation.
We were close, near the end. Me and the bearded red-head. He saw me take the last cracker off the plate without asking or thinking and right then, he silently pledged his life to my cause. Yes, we were close to mutiny at that point, but we held fast. I'm not sure if it was his lack of volition, or his respect for me as his new Captain, but we held fast. We will need more of the crew. At least half, and deffinately both of the women. Desperate men will follow a woman anwhere, even to certain death. I must win them over today, if we are to have any hope at all.

Nada Title

I haven't posted in four days. I've been out "Swashbuckling" as I call it. I don't really feel like posting now, but I feel I owe you something. I've been learning how to use the "Bow." It's my old man's hunting bow. It's Compound, and he's about 6 inches taller than I, so the distance to pull back is way off. I am currently very sore in places I previously have not felt ever. Both arms take a lot of pressure in really weird places, so I feel retarded. Plus, I battle boxed on Monday, so I'm pretty sore all over.

Battle Box? I'm sure I have mentioned it before. However, the effort to re-explain it seems less than finding and linking to it. SO, here it is. At the disc golf course, there are concrete spaces to drive from. Pads Or Tee's. They are about 4 feet by 6 feet. they are usually about 2-4 inches above ground. On hole 16 there is one that seems particularly suited for combat. Best three of five, you step out you lose. (GREAT for building morale on those long, windless weeks on the ship.)

On the way to golf...Guess who isn't driving! Johan got a car finally!

(it's friggin' sweet)
Johan took these Pics. They are great!

Kilgor-1 Toad-0

Kilgor-2 Toad-0

Kilgor-2 Toad-1

Kilgor-3 Toad-1 Kilgor Wins!
Kene took these pics too. We decided that the flash took too long so he had to anticipate the action. He did a kickass job!

Johan-1 Toad-0

Johan-2 Toad-0 [Toad recieved a gash in his leg and forefit.] Johan Wins! (I am seriously going to do something with this picture. It is amazing! I totally got my ass kicked!)

Before golf, I told Kilgor to call Gnu and have him deliver a pizza. For reasons unknown, he agreed to work on Disc Golf Monday. Kilgor called him on hole 13 and talked to him. I was too drunk and booing him to hear the call. Lo and behold! Right after the Box Gnu Showed up!

The guy with the finger you do not know. That is Brandon. He is a localite like the rest of us. Sometimes I see him at golf, sometimes at the bar. I never know. Vinnie did not box.

After all the pictures, I only got 1 piece of pizza. FREE PIZZA!

REMODELING NEWS:

Cabinets look good. Should have labeled the doors so that I wouldn't have had to re-attach half of 'em. Gnu and I got most of the cabinets hung in about four hours. Kimba's dad helped put in the Sink Basin. Only 3 weeks until the countertops arrive! (WTF?) I spray-painted a baninster black. Eventually I'll do all of 'em.

SPADES NIGHT MADNESS!!! Funny Faces all around!

AMF

STOP, Toad. Now Think Clearly.

Reason it all out. You are angry, you need to realize why, and see it for the insignificant pile of shit that it is. You are better than that. Noone controls your emotions but you. Fuck that.

[edited]

Nah, fuggit. Whatever.

[edited]

Oh, Good.

As Carl would say. HOLY CRAP! 2 baby announcements in one year? My coolio Pirate website is turning into a freaking mommy/family website. Well, just in case all of you were worried, I say Fuck That!


Because Mel only has about 10 days to publish something to the main page, then I can kick her out! (Not that I would...)

Congrats, kid. I was the first internet person to tell you. I have proof.

Shogun is going to be one full restruant this year! Me? I'm just reveling in the fact and also I'm resting from hanging cabinets all day. I'll have pics when I get to the homestead. Saturday I woke up to find out that Johan (Metal J) got a new car! It only took him about three years, you know, so he got exactly what he wanted... He picked me up and I went to golf with Kene and him. We played a round, Kene got -7 and I don't want to talk about what I got. Then Kene left and Kilgor showed up. We played another round, including a second stop on hole 10 where we participated with like 20 other people. After golf, we left for Kilgor's and BBQ'ed. I have a pic or two of that as well, I believe. The food kicked ass, and he's renovating all the floors in his house, which look GREAT! I should have took a pic of them, but I don't think I did.

Happy Father's day!

Hurray For Me!

I did this post a while ago from my sidekick about this drinking game called Edward Fortyhands. If you Google Edward Fortyhands it comes up 3rd. If you Google Edward Forty Hands, it comes up 10th. We deffinately need to get the ball rolling on this one. I see Official T-Shirts, hats, straws and mebbe hand warmers to go between the forty's and your hands.

Progress (also a good CD by Ultraspank)

Here are some pictures!



Before Cabinet tear-down



After Cabinet tear-down. So what do you do with 8 big boxes of Cabinets? Build a fort!



[It was inevitable]



[Front]



[Side]



[Inside]

Message Board

I'M glad to see all the action over at the message board! It's the third incarnation but I think only me and B.B. know about all that. For those of you posting as guests you can feel free to Register that way you can communicate via IM's or whatever. The system keeps track of all the posts you've made, it let's me give you Admin access (if I want,) and other stuff that I will never comprehend. But you don't have to. You know. If you want to remain anonomous. Who is agent 009? I'd tell ya, but I don't want to blow his cover.

The Biggest Train Track Ever!

I'm over at Kimba's de-constructing some cabinets (Not going to be a video, but I will have pics) and inbetween bouts of accomplishing stuff I'm playin' with Monster. Here's his train track:


There is a four-story drop at the beginning, and as you can see, the track actually goes out of the picture and behind the couch, and into a series of whoop-de-do's [Whoops near bottom of page] after turn 11.



This thing is HUGE! There's even a little train graveyard...

Me, after kickin over several lengths of track. "We can rebuild it, we have the technology."
Monster " Yeah, we have tracks!"

Friggin cute.

He also informed "Mom" that she had to leave the basement, because it was "Our time." I actually barfed at that point.

L8r

A Picture Share!

The following are poorly-edited photos I found on Kimba's computer.

Peace.

Addicted?

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 54% Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%) You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer. The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!

Fight Spam!

I was Log-surfing today (that's where you follow a link from one Log to the next, and then more or less end up on the otherside of the blogosphere [tm] by more or less accident. It's fun, and I get to keep up on 'trends') One group has a site designed to help ending spam ( or at least do something about it.) http://english-32110190861.spampoison.com/ If you have a webpage or a personal Log I suggest you check it out. Pics come next!

AMF

Cockeyed.com

Bring on the caffeine, Rob Cockerham, proprietor (sp?) of Cockeyed.com is going to be on MTV2 sometime within the next 24 hours.

MySpace

I don't particularly like myspace. That is her, the Kidd I knew in debate. She's married now, I think, with a kid of her own. I found her on that list. Now I'm on that list, too. I don't want to be on that list. I crossed the river. I should be safe. Safe from the monsters I have beaten, their chains will not entwine my body. They, I will not be dragged into the pit of the past. I must destroy every link I can to the list, I made a mistake. And yet I am hesitant...So much time spent, so many friends made, only to leave with some skills and a piece of paper. It's such a waste! Will I turn my back on this creation after four years? When will it be time to cut and run from all of my readers. All of the people in this virtual world that I have brought light to and raised spirits? How can I proceed, nay, Gallop into my own future, if I cannot accept what my past is?

Demons from the past rise up. Deeds done or undone exist in a real, liquid state of time. To see clearly into life itself one comes to understand that time is not linear. Not as it is percieved by man. Time is indeed an ocean, where all things, all choices co-exist. One can sit, wade rather, and constantly be surrounded by one's choices, ill or not. One can desperately swim away from the areas it affects only to find others, familiar, who have done the same. The world is finite as time is not finite. You can cross to the other side of the ocean, but no sooner may the currents of life will bring you to bear on the same situation or lo! A situation that is even worse. So it is not, it seems, time that mimicks the ocean, but life itself. And time is the current that moves all things.

When I was in high school I dated a girl named Gnat. (Even then we had nicknames.) We dated for almost exactly a year. It was the longest relationship I have ever been in. We had good times and bad, mostly good as far as I can recall, but she just wasn't the one. It wasn't because she was ugly or a head case, it just stopped one day. I was done. When we broke up, (I remember specifically it was about our 1 year anniversary) We didn't really see or talk to each other anymore. I was in college and she didn't drive. It was easy. It was clean. A year later SHe somehow followed me home one night and convinced me to go "get a shake" with her. Not one to pass up an obvious booty call I agreed. It ended about 5 hours later with us on her bed.
"Did you thinnk I'd have sex with you?"
"Well, yeah, that's why I'm here."
"you are such a jerk."
I remember yelling something about a crazy bitch as I left. Maybe it was because she was crazy.
Another year later her little brother, Stroke, became the pizza bitch* at the Cecil's I was working at. As it came to be she started picking up from work. She became earlier and earlier and finally, due to an amazing streak of bad luck,(I don't want to share) I was forced to talk to her. Another ground breaking conversation.
"So I hear you don't go to college anymore." Note: she always starts the conversations. Silence is not uncomfortable for me.
"Yea, I'm takin' it easy for a while." Note: 4 years and counting. What can I say, I'm enjoying it.
"So-and-so said you don't do anything anymore. You're just a loser." Okay...Um, I'm not sure still if she was insulting me, or if I needed to find out who so-and-so was and whoop the hell out of them. All I remember is that I was pissed. I wasn't going down in round 2 or 202, not to this bitch. Be subtle, Toad. Getle. You don't want to make her cry, you are a better man than that. Okay, you're not but you have to at least try.
" I can see you have better things to do than sit around a pizzeria and not get paid." Okay. Good.
"My dad made me leave the house. I don't want to be here."
"Oh yea, Dad. {Name forgotten}. How is {Name forgotten}, anyway. He ever pay to get your teeth fixed?" Okay two things. Number one, Gnat's old man swithced jobs more than I do, so he never was around long enough to get insurance and the other is DAMN! Her grill was (is?) FUBAR. We're talking teeth growing on teeth and shit. But I was always cool about it. Wasn't really my problem. she didn't have shark breath. Just shark teeth.
But do yo usee the error there? He ever pay to get your teeth fixed? I was honestly and good-naturedly asking a question to bond the past to the present. We had talked about it, after all.

She was pissed. And embarassed. And you all KNOW she still wanted me. As she stormed out of the store, the only thing she said was "Nolan!" Not even using the nickname she made for him."Nolan! I'll be in the car!" S L A M. I laugh about it now, but at the time I was trying to do the right thing.

A year later (is this a theme?) I saw her at a convienience station. Another string of bad luck led the Pizza Hut I was working at to run out of two liter sodas at a time wher it was buy a large, get a 2-liter free. Hell yea I'm being serious. It sucked, but that's another boring story. Standing in line with a Pepsi, I saw her walk in and stand behind me. I didn't even say anything this time. Neither did she. I'm pretty sure it was the last time.

Myspace.com is a place where you can set up a little blog page like this and invite people to be your friends and stuff. It's okay, I guess. As Kimba said, you can look up old people from your school and stuff. I have not seen hide nor hare of anyone I went to school with since I moved in '01. With the exception of every time I cross the river. I always have to see one. It's like I'm the only one who got on with their life. So I'm too tempted and I go look up people from my school. Guess who I find? I now know that my ex-girlfriend has married a douchebag (she posted pics) and is not as pretty as I remembered her. Funny how time can take all the imperfections out of one's face, like me and Photoshop. I didn't recognize anyone else. Just her.

I'm gonna do it, though. With all of you at my side, I'm going to look at her page, and OH GOD NO I DON"T WANT TO KNOW! But I do. NO! ... Okay, but if I can't sleep it's my own damn fault. You know you were looking for Terra anyway. God damn it. I'm going nuts.

*Occasionally I work at a [delivery] place that can actually have a staff in the kitchen. When there is, usually there is one young kid who doesn't know what he's doing. A Probie, if you will. Normally they are treated like shit and either quit or graduate to be the next shit-giver. This is how most non-corporate, mid-sized companys work kids. If you start a job and everyone is giving you a lot of shit, I recommend three things:
1. Evaluate the job, versus the hire rate. Is the job even worth putting up with shit? I say no, as a rule, but some pay VERY well. Do they hire a lot of new people? You are only new if someone knows it. Me and Joe started on the first day at ol' Talayna's, and neither knew until like 3 months later.
2.Don't take any shit and flip everyone off. That's it.
3.Do their job better than they do. All of 'em. Learn how to do every job better than the person paid to do it. You run a strong risk of alienating everyone you work with, but screw 'em. That's what they get for being dicks and giving you shit in the first place.

Memorial Day BBQ 2005

I don't think that I actually said anything about this, but on Memorial day Metal J had a Barbeque. I took a few good pics, and [pause for effect] ...here they are!

What Day Is It?

I seriously thought today was friday, all the way up until Futurama came on fifteen minutes ago. I really have to get a job. Which I haven't yet.
This evening a lady from a marketing place called me. They're going to pay me 120$ to test some gum for them. Yep, a hunnert an twenty bucks. To chew gum. The only setback is that I have to go to their office three days in a row, but it's only like 15 min away. Besides, what else do I have to do? I have to sign a non-disclosure contract, so I won't [legally] be able to talk about it, but here's what I know so far:
3 days, an hour and forty five minutes a day. Payment-120$ I will be required to chew the gum sample for 20 minutes, followed by a written report and pallette cleansing. during the cleansing process I will be required to drink a bottle of water, eat a cracker, and eat a piece of chocolate. The chocolate I could do without, I don't like sweets. but it's over 20 bucks an hour, so shit man, what would you do? These people call me about once a year, usually when I don't have a job. weird. The last thing I did was get paid 40$ to talk about my web-surfing habbits. It took about two hours as well. It's not for two weeks, though. I'll have to find a way to survive till then LOL.

I borrowed a zombie book from Gnu yesterday, and read the whole thing in one sitting. I guess that's why my day is so weird. Oh, right. Here's the book. I deffinately reccommend it. Like I said, I read it through without pause. I've not done that since I learned to drive.

Score!

Clutch is doing another sticker contest!

Mid Week Update

LOTS of disc golf and bending, I got a hole in one on hole #10 yesterday. I also read a hilarious article while Kilgor and were at the gas station. It seems that Police officers hired off duty as security have been tazing the kids at the schools they "Secure." There was a cop who used to "secure" our high schoo's Auditorium when there would be special events. I always thought he was on duty, just hanging out. Had I know he was being paid I might have made a little more trouble for him.[kidding] So anyway, these off-duty police have been tazing unruly students in an attempt to control the sitution or whatever. Here's the funny part though: They work at elementary schools. That's right. Captain B.T. Badass of the St.L.P.D. has to TAZE a 6 year old kid to get him to calm down. Have you ever been tazed? Hold on, I'm gonna show you some clips.

These guys are all serious about it.

Here's a bigger archive, I'm Lazy.

Anyway, I'm not slamming cops here but Capital WTF? A friggin kid? Come on! I know Monster can be a handful, but I weigh A LOT more than him. There has never been a point where I was playing with him that I thought, Hmm... I need 50 thousand volts to calm this little kid down! I could just sit on him.
Any way, I just thought I'd mention it. The story was really about a proposed ban of Taser weapons * for security guards in schools. I'm all for it.

AMF

*Did you see how I spelt it different? I learned the proper way to spell Taser by reading Toad's Pirate Log. Entertaining, and educational!

Message Board

Hey guys! It's good to hear from y'all. I'm glad the message board is being used! Here's the deal with the bizarre post structure:


I control it all. There is a feature available to the admin that allow me to replace or *ahem* censor the words y'all use. I can make it turn fuck into fudge, fun, or [Bats! I can hear the Bats!] to make the 704d.com message board a more pleasant and family oriented website. Or I can be weird. Very weird. The kind of weird that censors the word "the" and makes the message board present it as [Bats! I can hear the Bats!] So you see you are all okay. I'm the twisted one. Thanks y'all, and Wilga if you use my real name again I'll ummm I'll [Bats! I can hear the Bats!] living [Bats! I can hear the Bats!] out of you and [Bats! I can hear the Bats!] family.

OCD for You and ME!

I haven't finished what I've been doing to the website yet, But I'm taking a break and letting the inspirational juices build back up. I made this button:



And I saved it with a friggin' LONGASS filename. So I'm not wirking on the site, I don't have a job, what am I doing? Well, the folks are having a dinner party so I ducked over to Kimba's house to help her on her site. We didn't hook up on memorial day, I got stuck at the store. She's not here, either. So I'm just working...

But I'm not. I'm taking a break and bored as hell. So what do I do? There's nothing on tv and no game systems hooked up, so the old OCD kicks in and I start organizing just for the hell of it. CD's, DVD's anything that has an anacronym. (I wonder why a word that means shorten is so long? Could just call it a BT.) Man, there's plenty of sorting to do, too. a huge box of video games from 4 different platforms just begging for order. The CD's I took out 3 months to burn copies of will finally be removed from the back of my mind. I've already found a PS game that I rented about a year ago. I wonder if they'll still take it? anyway, that's about how it stands now. Hopefully something else will happen. Soon.

AMF

Tired...

AND I think I'm going to bed. I opened up the message board again, but if you want to communicate you'll have to login. I also created a guestbook, so sign it and be nice. or funny. or mean, whatever. I meant to make one 6 mos ago, but I forgot. I'm Sorry! [I'm not sorry]

Mel's Page

So I've spent like another 8 hours (five, honestly) working on the new blog page. It's over here right now. In typical 704d.com fashion It's not finished yet, but you can have a look. I'm not making the official announcement until I'm satisfied with the page, but you can view it because she's already posting. Remember this post? That's her, the one in the picture. I was going to title her page "All American Girl" but fuggit, she can come up with a title if she wants one. I'm doing all the work for now, anyway. But check it out, she's a fun and interesting person, I'm sure we'll see in the future. I'm going to watch some 'toons now, but check back in a day or two, the page should be done (if she likes it.)

AMF

My Job

Yep. They shut her down. I don't know what is less satisfying. Being correct in all of my previous accusations about the store closing, or losing my only sorce of income. I'm sure I could go to the sister store and pick up a few hours here and there, but you all know that would be a bad move. I need to move in a different, more artistically inclined fashion. A lateral move at this point would be like dragging my sorry ass across the ocean floor. It does suck in one way, though. My fellow employees were finally starting to hear the Disc golf gospel. 2 guys had just started playing for the first time, and I almost had them convinced to come out next Monday. Bollocks. So anyway, that's where I'm going now. I guess without a job the new page should be finished in a day or two. I'll try to get around to posting some pictures later tonite.

Is that it? All I have to say about the job I've had for the last five months? yep. pretty much. Oh, wait. One of the waitresses quit to go work somewhere else and Sunday was her last day (HI Kati!) It's funny though, it was all of our last day. I never have to close the store again no matter what. I was going to start a side Log to cope with all the heinous gross things I saw at the resturant, I don't have to do that now. I was pretty sick of it all anyway, so now I don't have to quit or screw anyone by walking out. That's nice too. I guess the only thing I'm losing is the $, and a couple of real crazy people to hang around. That was one of the worst things at the sign shop. Phil and Tim were just so Lame. They never told jokes, learned to juggle, had any interesting stories to share. There was just no color amongst all the paint spatters and broken crap. Only white. No more Three-ring classics. No more coming into work late. No more bizarre hot wing and pizza recipes. No more wierd pizza comaradarie.

See you in the next hole.

Have a B.T.

Bee Bee Tee Tee.

It was a lot of fun while it last though, eh?