Oh, good.

Mark the time and date ladies and gentlemen, the O'fallon store is closed. For good, apparenetly. I just got the voicemail. Me? I have no fucking idea.

JUNE!

OKAY, it's not yet. But I got a jump on the main page. I hope you like it.

Kimblahg

It is Memorial Day. I was not the first to post a wedding picture. The new post page languishes. I have one day to re-design the main page. Metal J is having a BBQ in a couple of hours. My No.1 priority? Fix Kimba's page.

So Kimba kinda defected from the site. Not really, the only things that have changed are the web address and now I can't sneak in and change her posts from time to time. I can't show you an example because her archives are as jacked up as her page is. Extra li's and ul's and all that fancy coding shit that I know now. So, instead of relaxing and letting my hangover pass I'm going to jam some water into my jacked up car and scream over to her house. GOD I AM A NICE GUY SOMETIMES.

It's funny, with Kimba having her own page. Now, She's going to make more [any] money off her site than I am. Plus, Now I can track all the hits the site get's from hers. Sort of an extended network. It's cool, though. The bird leaving the nest and all. I wish her the best, and you know I'll always have a few spare Gigs if you need 'em, kid.

AMF,

See you at the Bar-B-Que!

Annoyed

BEING enthusiastic does not make up for tipping poorly.
Master Toad, on the go!

Whirlwind

IT'S been a whirlwind weekend. Crazy, non-stop party party party.

Kimba and Gnu's wedding was yesterday. It was a nice event, and a good
time was had by all. I'm not going to go into too many details, but it
was very nice. After the wedding (down on Main street) Christ, Johan,
Kilgor, Fred the Hippie, and myself went down to Magpies for a couple
more drinks. After that, we decided to barbeque. Kilgor and Fred went
to get supplies, Johan and Christ got beer, and I arrived early and
waited for them. (Of course.) We played washers, drank beer and
hollered at Johan's father's bird. Johan cooked shrimp, hot dogs, and
bratwurst. Later on, after Kilgor and Fred left, Christ went in to
watch the baseball game and passed out. That left me and Johan to play
Grand Theft Auto until midnight when I left. I have pics, but you'll
have to wait till I get home to see 'em.

I have a huge hole in my radiator. But I'm broke. So I've been putting
a gallon of water into the coolant system before EVERY DELIVERY. I hope
I can make it 'till tomorrow so I can take it into the shop. I still
need new brakes too...

I'm still working on the new um, website-poster-person's page. I talked
to them yesterday and they were cool withit, they're finishing school
and too busy as well. I'm also working on the main page.

Still no word on the new Gorillaz...
Master Toad, on the go!

Scatter!

T-MINUS ten and counting. I just got home from a 13.5 hour shift at the pizza place, plus about an hour shopping for clothes at Wal*mart. I bought everything too big so that I would not have to sweat at all about the wedding but my ass is a lot fatter than I thought. now, I have to decide if I'm going back to walmart or if I'm going to go there in a saturday at about 9 am. HELL. At least it's a holiday weekend and that might help...

I'm listening to the new Gorillaz Cd. It's not too bad, really. A little slower than the last one, bud I also bought the new Mudvayne Cd that Metal J suggested. I cannot wait to bust into that one. THe GOrillaz album looks a lot like their website, really. Same artwork. They also have a different graphic for each song, and some of them are damn funny. I'll post them and a review of the CD if it's good enough.

13.5 hours on the road, now it's time to get to work! The end of the month is coming!

Right Now

So my life right now is like this: take a brand new deck of cards.
Remove the jokers and all the crap and then hold the cards firmly in
your left hand. (Get the picture yet?) Now chuck the cards right up
into the air as hard as you can. THAT'S how it is right now. A
younger, less experienced version of me would make a mad, control
freaked dash to snag all the cards out of the air, sort them, put them
in order from 2-A alternating red black red black. Right now, at this
time and place, I have the jack of spades in my left hand and two jokers
in my right. I'll snag the rest when I need 'em.
Later...

Bizarre

SO there I am, sweating my sack off grinding about 80 pounds of cheese,
while the waitress is slaving over a hot fryer doing prep, and out of
the corner of my eye I see the day cook stroll through the kitchen
juggling like 3 dough balls. It's too bad he wasn't dressed like a
clown. Like something you'd see in a crappy sketch comedy show.
Master Toad, on the go!

Reason

I know that I haven't really posted anything in the last few. I'm still
trying to straighten out after Chicago. I haven't forgotten, I swear.
Tonite I'm going to start designing the new blogger's page (man I hate
that word) and I' m trying to plan a aniversary something-or-other. I'm
not sure what we'll do, but mark your callendar for the weekend of the
sixth of August, and then clear it!

Also, kimba's site is ready to go. Www.kimblahg.com same site, new
directory! Now she can put those crappy adsense ads on her site and get
paid. (What she really needs to do is add content to the main page.)
I'm going to install a permanent re-direct on her old directory so you
don't have to change your favorite link. That's it for now, kid.
Master Toad, on the go!

ChicagHo

We are on our way!
Master Toad, on the go!

Tipping Is Not A City In China

THE jerk has a 1990 Camaro RS in his garage serving as a table covered
in crap, but he can only afford me a dollar tip...
Master Toad, right in the ass!

Mistake

Mistake
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

Sometimes delivery drivers make mistakes. They forget salads and sodas, they put something heavy on a pizza [pictured] or slide it, they even get lost.


...I don't.

Because Time Changes Things For the Worse

I WAS going to post a long, nasty note about your comment earlier. Then I was going to write an even nastier email. Now, I don't even care. I can't. Wouldn't even if I could.

HOWEVER:

Kimba, if your camera is so Goddamned important to you, then you can just stay there and fuck it for all I care. Nevermind all the work and effort I have put forth for you for free. Forget about your on-call graphic/web designer, that fucking awesome picture in your basement that is SO COOL that I won't even share it with the internet, and Monster's brand newly painted swingset ALL FREE OF CHARGE. If you care more about a box of plastic and metal pieces than me, then you can SUCK IT.

AUB

(Adios Ungrateful Bitches.)

Seriously, have I ever asked anyone for anything? I know the answer.

Mid-day Report

Johan and Christ are on their way to Arkansas right now. My dumbass
lent them my digital camera to take some pictures, forgetting my plans
to go to Chicago on Sunday. Now I have to borrow a digital camera from
someone else! Smegging hell. I'm going to ask my sister if I can
borrow her 700$ Cannon, but I doubt she'll let me. I was going to email
Mimi Smartypants to see if she'd meet a fan for lunch, but I've never
been to Chicago before and wouldn't want to stand her up by getting
lost. (Pretty lame excuse if you ask me.)
Oh well, at least today has been shitty. I've been out of my mind
with anger and I have no idea where it is coming from. I think it's a
control issue but that's bullshit because I don't need to control
everything. Oh well, just trying not to freak on everyone and make it
till 9 o'clock. I'm the only driver tonight, so I need to be on top of
my shit.
Master Toad, Delivery Up!

New member

I'm working on a new um... Poster's personal page. We're gonna have a new member! Here's a teaser...(or just an excuse to have B.O.B. and Juliette together again...)

Pizza Girls

Pizza Girls
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

Hi to Katie and Lauren. I told you I'd post it, so here it is!

Spray

It's dark now. Very dark. I can barely see my hand in front of my
face. The pale light cannot permeate the thick, traffic-like folliage.
I'm very close to finishing now, though. Very close. My biggest fear
is not the vanishing light, nor the blood-suckers, but time. I must
finish, even if it's pitch black.
Master Toad, on the go!

Edward Fortyhands

Take 2 forty's and have someone duck-tape them to your hands. You
cannot remove them until both are gone! (FYI 2X40=80 80 ounces = 6.6
beers) from Attack of the Show
Master Toad, on the go!

A Little Bitch

NOTE: This post has been edited so as not to totally offend. Names have been changed, and key places have been fictionalized.

Martin, the day cook, is being a little bitch to me. He's pissed because
I sat around all day doing nothing while he worked his ass off. So did
the manager. So do I, every day but today because there just happened
to be nothing for me to do. So he's being a bitch about it instead of asking me for help like, 3 hours ago...

In all reality he's pissed he has to slave away in a crappy, dead-end
job for not enough $. Plus, he's already put in like 35 hours this week
and he doesn't get enough rest. So he's in a bad mood, and takeing it out on me. As we all know, Master Toad will have none of THAT.
I made a smart-ass remark about "manager martin" after he asked me to fold
some boxes (the other driver was already finishing them as per my
directions.) And he blew up at me about typing on my sidekick all day
long. We all know that I was reading Rolling Stone, I couldn't have
been on my sidekick.

So what of the Toad and this dead-end job? It is a means to an end. I
am here for a purpose, and once that purpose is served, I'll be gone. I
don't really get mad. I can't, it's just a job.

AMF

Slow Day

Tenative plans to go see the Slackers in Chicago next Monsay. Sitting
here, not taking deliveries, reading about HST. Did you know he got his
doctorate from a mail in ad from a magazine or newspaper? Five bucks,
and you can be Dr. Joe Anybody. I took another delivery to some guy for
a buck. I don't even care, it was nice to have something to do. Blah
blah blah...
Master Toad, bored as hell!

Friday The Thirteenth

Yes it is. First off, Hello and stuff to all of our site's fans abroad! I know you guys are out there, and I love to see Russia, the European Union, and Switzerland at the top of the list. International, baby!

Also, hello to Tomsass. You whore. you gonna talk smack on my website after I haven't heard from you in forever? Fine. Captain Toad and the SNoD army got something for ya:


(SNoD Seven Nations of Destruction)

Remember this story? It was good.

Seriously though, dude, good to hear from ya!

Nothing weird happened on this Friday 13th. Oh, wait! Kene and I went to play disc golf at a course owned by a church. Talk about weird. We were surrounded by churchers. No beer. Throw your cig butts away. There was a guy whose house was adjacent to the course and he was selling 3 Muskateers and SODA. "Little Man's snack shop. No beer. NO BEER. For years we have been talking about setting up a shop to sell cold ones at our golf course. Now some guy actually does it, and HE SELLS SODA. That crap ain't even good for ya. These douchebags just let both of us play Right Through their 2-man scramble, muttering something about "the curse." I don't think these people know who Disc Golfers are, or they wouldn't invite us into their backyard. Or would they? Churchers are weird. Oh yea, and the two dudes going around putting flags by all the intermediate Tees, one of them was a chick. [No Picture] It was a decent course though. Kinda small, but you know, quaint.

I took a bunch of old golf discs that noone uses and put 704d.com stickers on them. I have been un-strategically tossing them into the woods and dropping into the deepest parts of the creek, in the hopes to get a little boost in hits. These are my people, after all. People who don't know how to order coffee at Starbucks, Dopers, Drunks, Anarchists, Artists, Musicians, Biatches, Good people.

Adios, My People.

Biography

"Handfulls of instant death, only to be served on pizzas and fed into
their fat asses..."
-Toad, describing mushrooms. Talayna's, cir 2005

All This Time

I have been wondering what was bothering me about the 704d.com logo.
The .com is capitalized! And now that I think about it, I remember the
inner struggle I had with it. I guess it just looks better that way.
Probably gonna re-design it for next year. Submissions?
Master Toad, on the go!

My Navigator

[There is supposed to be a picture of a skull bobble head here, but it didn't load correctly.]

This is Mister White Keys. (Cherry Popin' Daddies) Jesus is my
co-pilot? Mine's Death, Bitch.
Master Toad, on the go!

Eleven-Forty

My watch is stopped at 11:40. I wonder if that's when my grandfather
died... Creepy.
Master Toad, on the go!

Photo Post

Just some photos of some stuff. Can you spot the pic? My new disc, a baby in a pot, and check out the develish look on my face!

Before Boredom:

after boredom:



Some people park like assholes. This guy sells Cell-phones as well.


[Product placement]



My niece, Tristan

2005 Chrysler 300C


AMF

Head With Wings

IT doesn't even seem real at this point. Like it was a really good idea
that I should have done, but I didn't. As far as I am concerned, right
now, the website is just a dream I had. Or maybe I'm dreaming now, and
the website IS real. Hard to tell, but my mosticolli (sp?) is about
ready. I'm going to find a good look for the main page and probably
leave it like that for a while. At least 'till I'm done with this pizza
nonsense. Working this much is taking it's toll on everything.
But the real reason I've posted at this moment is the response I just
read on Savage Love (www.savagelove.com)

"Dump her, BLOW. Sucking cock can no longer be regerded as some sort of
above-and-beyond-the-call indulgence. Blowjobs are standard. Any make
or model that doesn't come with blowjobs should be immediately returned
to the showroom."

Puts a big smile on The Captain's face.

Mundaze

TYPICAL Monday, waiting at Magpies for golf to start. This time, we
can't find Uncle Matt. I was looking at my neighbor's back patio
earlier, and I noticed that it is EXACTLY like ours. Fire pit Chiminea
thing on one side, gas grill on the other. Their patio table even has
the same color umbrella. They have a rocking bench instead of our
stealth flip up seat and store stuff in it Rubbermaid. The only
difference is that their little garden hose winder box was next to the
patio, and purs is on the other side of the house.
Time for golf. See you there.
Master Toad, on the go!

Y Tu' Madre, Tambien

Happy mom's day, parasites! I'm workin open to close, and we are dead.
Think your life sucks? I have to do a shitload of dishes! Yeah! Gotta
go, the boss is breathing down my neck. Bastard. Doesn't he know I'm a
driver? I need a new job.
Master Toad, on the go!

Annoyed

Douchebag lives in a 150,000 dollar house and he tips me a dollar.
Master Toad, on the go!

Sidekick 2

THE Danger Sidekick 2 is an awesome device. But as it turns out,
T-Mobile, well, those guys kinda of suck. They told Danger (the
creeators of the sidekick and owners of the Sidekick's servers) not to
allow me to be able to buy ringtones. They want me to have to pay them
alone. THAT sucks, and so do THEIR ringtones. All I want is to get a
little Cowboy Bebop and maybe some Beavis and Butthead but no. Those
facist jerks that set up this totally cool pre-paid thing have denied me
a basic cell-phone freedom. A right, if you will.

CELL-PHONE USERS BILL OF RIGHTS

1. The right to have any conversation, no matter how inane,
disgusting,personal and or otherwise, at any place of your choosing, and
at whatever volume you feel is necessary to complete the conversation.

2. You, the cell-phone user, have the right to wear your cell-phone
however you wish. Be it in a leather case hung from a belt, clipped to
a G-String, in a purse or man-bag, on a lanyard around your neck, or any
other place you can stick it.

3. Ringtones. As a cell-phone user you have the right to download any
and all ringtones, screen savers, and or backgrounds that you choose.
You have the right to raise the volume on your cell-phone until your
chosen ringtone will only come out as a garbled mass of white noise.

4. You MAY NOT reserve the right to use your cell-phone in nature (i.e.
A float trip, camping trip, hiking in the woods, etc.) or at any time at
which your piers decide it is inappropriate to do so as long as it has
been agreed upon prior to the usage. Ex Post Facto.

***********************

I'm at the store right now (duh) but Candy is here lookin' smoking hot.
Candy used to be our day waitress but she left us to go on to better (?)
things. She's so cool that she brought me a copy of the Rolling Stone
that features Hunter Thompson! Friggin' sweet! Very thoughtful too.
Sometimes it's okay to know people. I know I didn't say much, but
thanks a lot, kid. This website is her only link to us (which sucks,
cuzz I can't really write about work.) So I'm going to try to revive the
message cup thing. Mebbe I'll do it through Flickr. That sounds good.

So I guess that's it I guess. I left my Sidekick at home yesterday, so
sorry Johan I didn't call you. What are you doing tonight?
Master Toad, on the go!

I Never Knew

WHAT it was for. It sat there, blocking the light from entering my
room, but that is not what it's FOR. It's in my world, so it's a blank
canvas. It must be filled.
Master Toad, on the go!

The Horror...

I'M cleaning out some of my room. My junk drawer, to be exact. My God, the crap. Old rechargable batteries. A thousand pictures. A Snot tape. And love letters from high school. HIGH SCHOOL. I graduated seven years ago. Some letters from Kourt and Taga, too. Those are special, though. Not for you guys. Those memories are mine alone.
Memories... I had to make a new memory box. A memory box (for me) is a shoebox or such in size. You fill it with items, ticket stubs, friendship bracelets, notes, pictures. Anything that reminds you of a good time or someone you no longer know. Since memories have no value, sometimes you have to let them go. So you take them, reminiss (sp?) one more time, and put them in the box. then you bury it. Figuratively, literally, whatever. I bury mine in the basement under an old desk. Less digging. That way, you have more room for new memories. more concerts, more good times. later on, when you are moving or re-aranging, you find the box. Then you wonder what the hell it is. You open it... and about four hours later you remember why you hid it. You are living a different life now. Different people, different places. But you are still there as well. Back in the day at a baseball game with whoever, in the silly picture with you and an Ex. You may be in a different place now, but you can remember where you came from. And maybe, just maybe, learn a little about yourself. Anyway, it's a gas. plus, you can sort through all your crap, and if it doesn't bring you a memory, you can sell it or pitch it. I have about 3 of these boxes now. They don't mean anything, like an old movie. every once in a while, when I feel off of the mark or lost, I just open one up. I read some of these things and remember how shit was. It's not so different now, but I am. I'm a lot different than I was in high school. I'm still me, just...Harder. More cynical. Less naive. I'm oksy with that, but man.

There were a lot more chicks in my life back in the day.
Back to the grind, no rest for the best.

AMF

666

In one year, one month, and one day the date will be 6-6-6. Spooky...
Master Toad, on the go!

Home Base

HOLY crap. how long has it been since I made an actual post from my home computer? I could look it up, but if you don't know, obviously you don't care. I don't. lotsa stuff going on, and a few pictures too, but I only have about 1/2 hour till Trigun is on, so words first, pics later.

I took a delivery tonite, and there was a hottie at the door. the total on the bill was 31.50, but before I could tell her she handed me two twenties and said "keep it." In classics Sign style, I made a "dump and run" wherein I got the hell out of the place before anyone could say otherwise. when I got back to the store, the manager announced that the lady had called back and said she had tipped too much. She wanted me to return some fo the money I guess. Now, realistically, we were busy. For us, anyway. For me to take her back money she had already gave me would have not only cost me whatever tip I was going to make on my next delivery, (Est. 4$) but would have set back all the deliveries making each and every one of them late. None were heaing out that way and indeed, at 30 minutes past close I was still nowhere near there. Even if I was going to give them money back. Which I didn't want to. I worked day shift today (of course) and only had 1 delivery. I take stiff deliveries all the time, and I don't complain. I figure this was just Karma swinging the other way. (For once.) I'd like to equate somehow that by returning the money I would end up boinking the hottie, but I just don't see it.

I'm also not selling the dead man's tapes. Kimba doesn't want me to. So of course I'll respect her wishes, but I still don't know what I'll do with them. I am going to eBay some stuff, though, as soon as I get some free time.

No word from the weird guy who sold me my phone.

So how is Master Toad doing? Personally, I dunno. I've been in the same routine for at least the last 2 months. Work open-close Wednesday to Sunday, go golf and get wasted on Monday, and Tuesdays vary between golf and wasted vs. cleaning my room. My room. Thank God I don't have an apartment yet. I've got to get my shit together, though. It's almost time. I thought I was having kidney or liver problems about a week ago, but I didn't want to worry you guys. I stopped taking my one a day vitamins, and everything is cool now. No pain, no pressure. I guess they should be one every couple of days. honestly I'm trying to cut the booze out for a while. I'm slowing the alcohol machine down, and hopefully can shut it off in a couple of weeks. Take it easy and save my cash till I can move out. I'm not worried that I'm out of control anymore, but I'll never lose weight with all the beer I drink and I'd really like to do just that. At this exact moment I'm working on a new mix CD for the girls at work.

********Later that same night***********

So the Juliette Lewis post has more hits than my blog so far this month. I dunno. I don't get it.

For golf on Johan's birthday I, Christ, Kene, Gnu, Kilgor, Uncle Matt, and Moris all joined. I tried to get a pic of all of them, forgive me if I did not.



[Waiting, Hole 1] Johan, Uncle Matt, Kilgor, Kene.



[Hole 13] Johan, Moris (in front of) Uncle Matt, Kilgor (elbowing) Christ, and Gnu.



[Hole 17] Moris (spotting), Gnu (foreground), Kene (background), Johan (lost his disc).



[On way to hole 18] Kilgor, Christ, Moris, Matt.



[Hole 3] Gnu, Toad (didn't think I'd forget?) Johan (background).

Last, but not least, is Candy's Message Cup:

AMF

I Have A Dead Man's Tape Collection.

AND anyone is welcome to claim it. I don't know what to do with it.
Kimba gave it to me Sunday night. I'll probably sell it as a lot on
eBay, if noone wants them. You know how to contact me.
Not that that's the biggest news around here. Monday was Metal J's
birthday, happy 26th dude.
I'll upload the pics I took after work, and go a little deeper into it.

...later that same day...

Hola, Candy! I just got word of your comments! Thank you for checking
out the site, Jeff and Matt say they miss you. I'll see if I can come
up with the creative juices to have another go at the message cup thing,
but we're having problems with our Java coding.

So yeah, I have some dead guy's tape collection. I don't know what to
do. I feel a little bad because I never even knew the guy. It seems
disrespectful to just sell 'em off. I know there are plenty of people
left to lament his death, but all we leave behind besides memories are
our physical posessions. I wear my grandfather's watch to remember and
honor him. Sure, the winder broke off and it will always be stuck on
"11:40" but that doesn't matter. I'm tied to him. So what does Master
Toad do with someone else's shit? Fuggit. I'm going to sell Jimbo's
tapes and backpack on eBay and use the proceeds to help with the site
fees. He can live on, here, in the ephemerial internet that is the 704d
family. If you disaprove of this idea, you have about a week from now
to collect his shit and put it to good use. Email toad at 704d dot
com. Otherwise, it's my call. His sacrafice will be my gain. Mine,
and yours, if you care at all about the site.
Master Toad, on the go!

Clouds

Clouds
Originally uploaded by Master Toad.

This might be the new background...

Post Machinehead Post

So the concert rocked. It always does. This is their first time back
to Sauget in like 3 years. I was at their last concert here, but while
they were on stage I was out in my car sleeping. I had been *ahem*
ejected from the bar, for reasons that the Captain will not go into.
Let's just say I was a tad bit intoxicated.

Damage report:
1 punch to the nose
1 wallop to the jaw (that was a bell-ringer)
1 kick to the throat
1 kick in the back of the head
All in all, not too bad. My ears are still ringing, all my joints hurt,
but I'd go back tonite if they were still in town!

I had a dream...
That I was working for NCIS as a field agent, and a murdurer kept out
wittting me because he read the Pirate Log and knew my every move.
Needless to say, Gibbs was not happy and I had to destroy my website
immediately. It made me sad. I love my website. I would miss it and
all of you.
Master Toad, on the go!