Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Survivor

I'm back from zcon 2009. I live. Paid in flesh and beer, it was, as
always, Awesome. Lock and Loll!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Souf Shide

So now I live in an apartment in South Saint Louis. It sounds worse
than it is, but it aint great. I just heard the icecream man drive
by. It's 9:15 and its been dark for an hour.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Mulberry St.

Zed research day 3

I think, my brain is starting to melt from top many zombies.

Video 4 was called Mulberry St. This one was in the bad movie pile
but actually turned out to be the best one so far. An epidemic breaks
out in New York city, causing all roads and tunnels to shut down.
Rats are buying people, and turning them into giant flesh eating rat
people. Everyone is just trying to survive.

I won't tell too much of the movie, because I suggest you watch it.
The main character's name is Clutch, his juggy daughter runs a lot,
and all the players are real actors. This one's a real winner.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Bigass television

So when I moved into my apartment Kilgor asked me if I wanted a new
TV. I said mine was fine but he told me that his aunt's gay neighbor
was giving one away. This whole tale is for another day but it
involves a zombie squad truck, and unwitting accomplice and King
Kilgor riding through south Saint Louis in the back of a pickup in the
rain. It was a 65 inch high deffinition projection television. I got
it for free.

It has been down for 2 days due to its high tech finiky self, so I
haven't been watching movies. But I got it back up this morning.
Damn its a big TV. Zombie research starts again tonight!

Monday, June 01, 2009

Zombie research day 2

First off, the doors to the Hideout are closed to everyone except
family until further notice.

Doomed

Five teams of two race across a "deserted" island for there days to
win the prize. The teams: all ex-cons. The prize: a dropped sentence
and 50 million big ones. The catch : the island houses an old
abandoned military base where they tried to make what? Yup, super
soldiers that are now zombies. The players in this game have no idea
though, except an ex-con/ soldier who happens blah blah blah.

This one wasn't too bad. My first choice out of the pile. Everything
was B rated or so, and this was no Battle Royale
But as far as zombie movies go, it was so predictable and bad that it
was almost comfortable. Intensely limited gore, no boobs, and poor
action. The most butt kicking that was done was by a guy who was
stabbed in the first 15 minutes of the film.

Automaton Transfusion

Teeny bopper tale of a group of friends trying to find one dudes
girlfriend across a zombie infested town. Mad props to the one who
ditched his boys for a hot chick only to have his Legs chewed off.

Would have been better with more boobs. At least you get to enjoy all
the popular kids being eaten by zombies. Mad crazy gore "My baby!
He's eating my baby!". Sometimes disturbing, yet lacking in, well,
everything. Also proof that a chainsaw is only good for chopping
trees, no matter how cool Ash is.

JUNK

Amateur fuck-off robbers steal about 35 bucks (100 million yen) worth
of jewelry and meet a Yakuza boss at a *surprise* abandoned military
compound used for What? You got it. So it's up to blah blah blah.
The only real twist is a super she-devil zombie who still dies.

No boobs, extremely limited gunplay, not much comedy. The best part
in the movie is when someone punches out a corvette dealer. What's
the difference between a porcupine and a corvette? On a porcupine the
pricks are on the outside.

To recap, Doomed was just above the mark due to the somewhat original
story, and I was actually rooting for teams (to die.). Automaton
Transfusion and JUNK hit the bar, falling on their asses.

Yarg!